Best For Last: Pt2
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: Can Arizona and Eliza navigate their lives, their futures, in Florida? Is love on their side or will they always face obstacles, barriers, before they can find their true happiness... Part two of 'Best For Last'
1. Chapter 1

**Best For Last: PT II**

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One

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ELIZA'S POV

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 _Eighteen months later…_

This day is kicking my ass. Not only have I had a pounding headache since I woke this morning, but I still have three hours to go before I can head home for the evening. My second year at university in Florida is more than underway and honestly, I'm not sure I have the energy for the rest of the year. I'm not sure I have the mental capacity to even make it through the rest of this day.

Arizona is due to call me tonight but again, I don't think I have the energy for that. It's too hard. It's been too hard since she left a year ago, signing for a soccer team in England. I know it's what she wants to do so I couldn't stop her from going. I wanted to, I wanted to lock us away forever and never let her leave my side, but I couldn't. I couldn't because that wouldn't be fair to her and I know that she would only resent me one day.

We broke it off a few weeks after she left but it wasn't because we didn't love each other. It wasn't because we didn't want to be together. It just makes life easier for us both. _I_ don't know the next time I'll see her, and _she_ doesn't know when she's coming home. Her contract runs for the next two years and she's pretty busy right now. So busy that we barely speak anymore. Our life...is as friends.

Do I miss her? More than anything. Do I want her to come home for me? No. No, I don't. She deserves this opportunity. She deserves for the world to know her name. I've spent my life growing up with her, and I had the pleasure of loving her for a short time, but this is her career. She wasn't born to do anything else. So, she packed up her things in Florida, and she left. She left on a flight to England and I haven't seen her since.

Flicking through her twitter account while I have a spare ten minutes, I smile when I find new pictures retweeted by her, originally from the team account. She looks good. She looks _amazing._ I know how hard she's worked for this, so seeing my ex-girlfriend doing what she loves...it makes me feel better about the decision she made. Her smile, it's as wide as it ever was. Her eyes, possibly bluer than ever. _God, those eyes._

Scrolling further down, my own smile dips when I find a picture of Arizona and her teammate, comfortable and kissing. _She's dating._ God, I never thought this moment would come. _Jade Wilkes. Hmm._ I don't have any right to a say in her life, but I still didn't think I would feel like this. Like, my heart has just been ripped out of my chest. Like, she is standing all over it while her girlfriend watches on, laughing. It hurts, but it isn't our life anymore. It's Arizona's, and it's mine...separately.

My cell pinging in my hand, I switch apps and pull up the message I've just received. It's from Claire, a girl I take one of my classes with.

 ** _C: Did you want to study together tonight?_**

 ** _E: Sure. Where?_**

 ** _C: Your place? It doesn't seem as academic._**

 ** _E: Fine by me. Seven?_**

 ** _C: Seven sounds perfect!_**

Locking my cell, I pull my messenger bag up onto my shoulder a little better and head for the library. Arizona and her mom agreed that I should keep the apartment originally meant for us, but I don't care. I don't care because it was supposed to be _our_ place. It was supposed to be _our_ future together. I may not hate Arizona for leaving and bettering herself, but I still hate the fact that I lost her.

The only thing keeping me going is knowing how happy she is. Doing what she loves and making a good living for herself. I just wish it could've been different. I wish I could've gone with her to England and watched on, complete pride for her. I wish I could've but I couldn't. Leaving the US would've meant I'd be throwing my own hopes and dreams away. Yes, it may only be university, but I worked hard to get here and Arizona agreed.

 ** _E: You wanna share dinner?_**

 ** _C: Dinner would be great._**

Smiling at Claire's reply, I shove my cell into my back pocket and head inside the library. We've been hanging out a lot over the last few months, but I've held back. She's pretty open about her feelings for me but honestly, I've been waiting for Arizona to fall into my arms. I've been waiting for her to show up at the place we were _both_ supposed to live and tell me she couldn't live without me. Deep down, I know that's never going to happen. Deep down, I know we had our chance and our time together.

 _Deep down, I'm tired of falling apart every night._

* * *

Settled on the couch, the clock just hit 5 pm and now I'm waiting for Arizona to call. We video call whenever we can, but tonight I feel different. Tonight, I feel like we're _really_ only friends. In the back of my mind, I always wondered how Arizona felt when we spoke. I always wondered if she missed me or wanted to hold me. I guess I was a fool to believe that everything would one day come full circle for us. When we broke it off, I guess I always hoped she would be there for me.

I suppose a five-hour time difference and thousands of miles between us really did create distance. I suppose being in another world, so to speak, always meant we wouldn't work out. I'm looking forward to speaking to her in some way, but not in the way I usually am. The sooner this call begins and ends, the sooner I can truly get on with my life. I won't lie awake thinking about her every night. I won't wonder if she's okay and sleeping well. Arizona has her own life and I have to let her live it. I have to finally let her go.

A familiar sound filtering through my open plan living room, I climb from the couch and head for my desk. I've wrapped up a little tonight because I'm not feeling too good, but I'm sure Arizona will put a smile on my face. I'm sure I'll only take one look at her and I'll feel warm inside.

"Hey!" I wait for the video to catch up to the audio. "You there?"

"I'm here." Those blue eyes stare back at me, Arizona's dimples popping. "So good to talk to you, Eliza."

"It's been a while, huh?"

"It has and I'm sorry for that." She runs her fingers through her hair. "The club has me working my ass off."

"That's your kinda thing though, no?"

"Oh, for sure." Arizona nods. "I'm still super tired, though."

"Sorry about that." I give my ex-girlfriend a sad smile. "Everything else good?"

"Yeah. It's really cold here…"

"Mm, I may have checked out the weather from this end." Shrugging, Arizona stares through the screen at me. "What?" I furrow my brow.

"Nothing." She shakes her head. "Just...you look good."

"Thanks." I clear my throat. "Just working out and keeping busy."

"You've been working out?" Arizona deadpans.

"Don't sound so shocked." I roll my eyes. "You're not the only one who can work out."

"So, I had something to tell you…" She goes completely off topic.

 _Great. Here goes the girlfriend speech…_

"Okay…" I draw out.

"I'm coming home for the holidays." Arizona's smile grows wider but mine is non-existent.

"Awesome." I shift in my seat.

"I thought you'd be more excited than that."

"It would be good to see you," I admit.

"Yeah?" Arizona sits forward, leaning into her screen. "You wanna hang out?"

"I-If I'm home, yeah." I stutter. "I don't know what my plans are…"

"Surely you'll be headed home to your mom? You never miss Christmas with her."

"She might be coming here," I say.

"Eliza, is everything okay?" Arizona has that look of worry in her eyes.

"Will Jade be coming with you?" I can feel that lump forming in my throat, but I have to remember that she isn't mine anymore. She hasn't been for a year.

"You know about Jade?"

"No, I just picked that name out of thin air and hoped for the best." I roll my eyes. "So?"

"Yeah, I think she is." Her eyes focus on the keyboard in front of her. "Just depends. I'm not sure of her plans…"

"Guess we're all unsure about what's going on then, huh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." My forehead creases. "You should've told me, Arizona…"

"I didn't want to have that conversation with you."

"So, you were just going to show up at home with her and expect me to not be surprised?"

"You said we should date." My ex-girlfriends voice breaks. "You said I should move on in the UK."

"I know." My heart sinks when she relays my words to me. "Just...you should've told me."

"Sorry." Arizona's eyes fill with tears. "I am, Eliza. I'm sorry for everything."

"What do you mean?" I look at her confused.

"For leaving the US. For leaving you." She sighs. "I promised you we would do Florida together and I went back on that promise. I hurt you and I need you to know that I'm sorry."

"Arizona, we've been through this many times over the last year, since you left. You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"Doesn't feel that way." She breathes out.

"Look, you're happy and you're doing what you love. You're professional now and I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." She gives me an awkward smile. "You hate me, don't you? Deep down, I know you do."

"I could never hate you for following your dreams." God, I want to touch her. Hold her. Breathe her in. "You did the right thing and I'll always support you."

"You're a good friend." She wipes a tear from her jawline. "Maybe we could arrange to meet or something when you know more about your plans for the holiday?"

"Yeah." I smile. "We should do that."

 _Honestly, I've no intentions of meeting up with Arizona if she comes home._

I want to. I want to, but I can't. Not if she's here with her girlfriend. It would break my heart and seeing her would only make me miss her more. Seeing her would only make me want to never let her go again. I couldn't watch her board another flight and leave my life, it was too hard the last time around.

"I should call it a night." She breaks me from my thoughts. "I have to train at 6 am."

"Sure, yeah." I nod, wrapping my arms around myself. "You'll take care of yourself?"

"You're talking to me like you'll never speak to me again…" Her eyes holding nothing but sadness, I need to end this call. Seeing her like this, it's breaking my heart. It's killing me inside.

"No, I just…" Sighing, I have to rip off the band-aid. "I think we should talk less."

"Right." Her eyes close as she chews on her lip. "Whatever you want."

 _I don't want this. I never wanted this to be our future._

"If you need anything…" She says, her voice cracking. "Y-You know you can call me."

"I think I'll be okay." I smile, half-hearted. "Focus on your career, Arizona. I always knew you'd make it."

"I-I…" She drops her gaze, cutting herself off. "Yeah, thank you."

"Goodbye, Robbins."

"Bye, Minnick."

The video feed cutting out, I sit back in my seat, tears slipping from my eyes. I don't know how this day is ending how it is, but I know it was only a matter of time. I knew Arizona would move on and find someone else. She doesn't deserve to be lonely, though. This isn't what any of this is about. We made a joint decision in all of this and now I have to stand by it. I can't be mad at her for meeting someone. I can't be mad at her because I've been holding onto something that was never going to happen. I can't be mad at her…I love her too much.

Picking up my cell, I hit a familiar number and wait for my call to connect.

"Eliza, honey?" My mom's voice soothes me. "How are you?"

"Hey, mom." I sigh. "Just finished a call with Arizona…"

"How is she?" She asks. "I watched her game a few nights back."

"You did?" I smile, the love my mom has for my ex-girlfriend evident. "I was studying so I didn't catch it."

"Not to worry, sweetheart." She says. "I'm sure you'll catch one soon."

"I-I can't watch them, mom," I admit. "I can't see her…"

"Oh, Eliza." My mom sighs. "I thought you were both getting along as friends?"

"We are but it's not enough, mom." I stand and approach the couch. "It was never going to be enough and I should've known that."

"You said you've just spoken to her?"

"Yeah, I uh…I said we should talk less." I clear my throat. "She doesn't need me around anymore. Whether I'm thousands of miles away or not, she doesn't need me in her life."

"Eliza, Arizona will always need you in her life," Mom says. "I spoke with Barbara last night and she's coming home for the holidays. Arizona is so excited to see you."

"Yeah, well she won't be seeing me." I breathe out. "And I just told her that."

"What's going on?" Mom asks, her voice laced with concern.

"She has a girlfriend, mom."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." I scoff. "I mean, I know I told her we should date and I know we're not together anymore, but it still hurts." My voice breaks. "Everything was perfect until freaking England came calling."

"I know, honey." Mom's voice softens. "I know."

"So, we have to not be friends anymore." I cry. "It's easier this way. It's going to be hard, but not as hard as it would be if I watched her arrive back home with her girlfriend. I couldn't do it, mom."

"I understand." She sighs. "I understand completely."

"I should go. I'll call you through the week, okay?"

"You want me to come visit you?" Mom perks up. "I could use some us time."

"Yeah, that would be nice." The thought of spending time with mom always feels good, but I know I need her now more than ever. I know that as this week progresses, I'm likely to fall apart completely. "When will you get here?"

"You have classes all week?"

"I don't have anything after Thursday," I say. "I'm blessed with long weekends."

"Then I will arrive Thursday evening. We will spend the weekend together, okay?"

"I love you, mom." Trying to hold back the fresh tears that are welling, my eyes close. "I'll see you in a few days, okay?"

"You will, sweetheart. I love you."

Our call ending, I sink back into the couch, gripping my cell tight. I've just received an email notification but I'm not sure I have the concentration to read it right now. I already have a ton of work on and I don't need more via email from one of my professors. Deciding to get it over and done with before Claire arrives, I open the app and my eyes land on the address.

 ** _Eliza,_**

 ** _I don't want to lose you from my life completely. I know us being in separate places hurts, but I thought this was the right thing. I thought we'd both agreed on that? You know I never wanted things to end this way, but if you can ever forgive me, I want to be your friend. I'll always want you to be my friend and in my life._**

 ** _I don't know what the future holds for me in terms of my soccer, but I wanted to thank you for sticking by me. For having my back. For giving me your blessing to go on and pursue my dreams. Nobody else would've been so supportive or perfect, but that's just you. You think about the people around you and I'll always love you for that._**

 ** _I'm sorry you had to find out about Jade via social media, but I couldn't tell you. I couldn't bring myself to tell you about her because I've already caused enough hurt to last you a lifetime. When we talk, you say you're doing good, but I see it in your eyes. I see the hurt and the hate you have for me. I wouldn't expect anything less, though. After all, we were supposed to take on our futures together. You said you always knew I'd make it, but we were supposed to make it together._**

 ** _If you can bring yourself to spend time with me during the holidays, I'd be forever grateful. If that isn't something you can do though, I completely understand._**

 ** _Take care and be amazing._**

 ** _Zo x_**

Tears falling freely down my face, I don't want to lose her as a friend either. I don't want this to truly end, never to speak to one another again. I know that in time, things will get better, but for now…I can't. I can't be her friend and I can't be the person she turns to if she's having a shitty time in her relationship. I wish I could be the bigger person and do that for her, but I can't. That's just the way it is. The way it has to be. Arizona Robbins will be forever imprinted on my skin, my mind, but I have to do what's right for me. I have to do what's right for my sanity.

 _The longer I hold on, the more I'll die inside…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Do you want more?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Best For Last: PT II**

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Two

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Throwing myself down on the couch in my open plan apartment, my head falls back and my eyes close. I'm not sure I've ever been so tired in my life. My club has me working myself into the ground, but I'm doing what I love. I'm playing soccer and getting paid for it. What's not to love about that? I'll tell you what…the inability to have Eliza here with me. The fact that I left her. The idea of never seeing her again. That's what I don't love about any of this. Honestly, it's killing me inside not speaking to her, but what else did I expect? Did I expect to move on and still have her in my life? I guess I did, but the more I've thought about it, the more I'm beginning to understand.

Jade is really great and we've been spending a ridiculous amount of time together. She just gets me. We kick back together most nights, laughing and just relaxing. I guess it helps that she's on the team, but when we leave my place, we're professional. We have a job to do, and a league to win. Maybe that's why it feels good with her, I don't know. Like, she knows what to expect and she knows how it has to be. When we're here, our time is ours, but when we're out on that pitch, we're there for the fans. For the people who pay our pay check. We get that.

"Arizona?" Jade calls out from the kitchen and I sit up on my elbows. "You want quinoa?"

"Sure, yeah." I smile. "You know, I could've ordered in from that health shop down the street."

"Nah, I've got it." Jade shrugs. "Cold tonight…"

"Yeah, it is." I agree, wrapped up in a hoodie and a pair of sweats. "This isn't the weather I'm used to."

"You think you'll stay here?" She glances over her shoulder. "I mean, I don't see why the club wouldn't offer you another contract when this one's up, but would you accept?"

"Depends." I sit up, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"On what?" Jade turns to face me, an empty plate in her hand.

"Well, on whatever else is out there." I shrug. "Another club might want me."

"Oh, I think they'll _all_ want you, but it doesn't get much bigger than this club." She laughs. "There's a reason we've been top of the league for the last three seasons…"

"I know, I get that." I run my fingers through my hair. "But the US is my home and I'm not sure I'm prepared to stay here forever…"

"Right, yeah." Jade furrows her brow. "Is everything okay with you?" She asks. "You've been off for a few weeks now…"

"I'm fine." I smile. "Just got some stuff on my mind."

"Anything you wanna talk about?" She approaches me, handing me a plate of food. "I'm a good listener."

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "I don't think it's anything you'd want to hear."

"Try me…"

"It's about my ex." I glance up at her, Jade's jaw now clenched. "See, told you!"

"No, I'm sorry." She sighs, dropping down beside me. "I'll listen. _I'm_ the one who has you, right?"

"R-Right." I clear my throat. "Just…it ended when I was signed here."

"O…kay." Jade waits for me to elaborate.

"She was my best friend. We fell in love. Moved in together at university. Then I came here and it all fell apart."

"Long distance?"

"We tried but it was too hard for the both of us." I sigh. "We decided to call it a day and remain friends."

"That's something, right?"

"Except now she can't even be my friend…"

"Why?" Jade furrows her brow. "Surely friendship is better than nothing, no?"

"Well, yeah." I nod. "She saw me with you online…"

"So? You're not together anymore." Jade scoffs.

"It's not as simple as that." I give my girlfriend a sad smile. "I was so into her that I took the same university so we could be together."

"Wow, okay." Jade stands. "I mean, I know I said I'd listen but I don't know what you want me to say…"

"There's nothing _to_ say." I laugh. "She hates me and I don't blame her."

"Then that's her loss, Arizona." Jade returns to the kitchen and plates up her food. "You have the career most women would get on their hands and knees and beg for, so she should be happy for you."

"Whoa." I set my plate down on the coffee table. "She _is_ happy for me. She wanted me to take this."

"Then I don't know what the issue is." Jade shrugs, her back still to me. I knew she wouldn't understand so I don't know why I bothered bringing it up. "If she's happy for you, she'll understand."

"Understand what?" I furrow my brow.

"That you're happy here. That you're in a relationship." Jade turns around. "Life changes all the time, Arizona. You have to take what you can get while it's on offer."

"I know." I nod, agreeing. "It's just hard. I feel awful."

"Well, don't." She settles down beside me, her hand resting on my thigh. "You're happy and you should focus on that. Your ex will move on and it will all be a distant memory."

"Y-Yeah." I turn away, picking my plate of food back up. "Sure."

Focusing on the tv in front of me, tears prick my eyes. Will I be a distant memory to Eliza one day? I don't want that. I want to _always_ have her in my life. I know it's hard, but surely she misses me too? Surely, she wants to pick up the phone and call, or arrange one of our video chats? I emailed her the night she told me she wanted to talk less but I got nothing back from her. I tried calling, but again, she gave me nothing.

I'm sure she's just mad at me but I'm going to fix that the next time I'm home. I'm going to find her and I'm going to try and talk this out with her. I need her friendship. I need that gorgeous smile and those incredible green eyes in my life. Honestly, I'm not sure I could live without them.

I do want to return home one day and stay, but when will that be? I'm tied in here for another two years and unless a team in the states wants me when that time comes, I'll have to go wherever the soccer is. I'll have to follow my dream wherever in the world it takes me.

 _I just wish Eliza was with me…_

* * *

"Hey, mom." Smiling at the screen in front of me, it's so good to speak to my mom. "You good?"

"Great, honey." She nods. "I miss you, though."

"I miss you, too." Relaxing back in my seat, Jade is watching tv out of view. "What's new?"

"Working all hours." She rolls her eyes. "Caught up with Eliza and her mom last night. It was pleasant."

"How are they?" I clear my throat, glancing over at my girlfriend who has zero interest in my conversation. "Eliza good?"

"She was…quiet," Mom says. "I went down to Florida for the evening."

"That's nice." My voice breaks. "Did she ask about me?"

"Who?"

"Eliza…"

"No, honey." Mom gives me a sad smile. "I think she's just busy."

"No, I think she just hates me." I scoff. "She just…she won't speak to me."

"Arizona…"

"What?" I don't like where this conversation is going. I don't like the way my mom is looking at me or her tone of voice. "Mom?"

"W-When I met up with them, Eliza's girlfriend was there."

"She has a girlfriend?" I furrow my brow. "Who?"

"A wonderful girl from one of her classes. Claire, her name is."

 _Claire? I don't know anyone called Claire._

"Oh, awesome." I give my mom my best fake smile. "It's about time she was happy."

"It is." Mom agrees. "You're both moving on…"

"Yeah, something like that." My shoulders slump. "I have to go, mom."

"Not yet, honey." Mom pleads. "Stay a little longer…"

"I-I can't." My eyes fall to the desk in front of me. "I have stuff to do and I have to be up early for training…"

"Arizona?" I lift my eyes, finding moms. "This isn't healthy…"

"Bye, mom." Cutting the call, I force my seat back and disappear into my bedroom. I'm not sure Jade remembers I'm even in this apartment, but I don't care right now. I need a moment to myself, a moment to remind myself that I'm doing the right thing.

I have wondered over the past six months or so if I was doing the right thing. The first six months were so hectic that I didn't have time to sit around thinking, but as I settled, as my life calmed down, I was left with plenty of time to think. Jade only came into my life around two months ago, but even she isn't removing Eliza from my thoughts.

Cards on the table time…I think about her every minute of the day. I think about her every second that I'm conscious. If I'm training, I think about her. If I'm showering, I think about her. If I'm in a team meeting, Eliza is there…ever present. I'd say it's an issue, but until a few weeks ago, it wasn't. It felt good having her on my mind. It meant I still felt connected to her.

Now, though? Now I feel more detached than I ever have in my life. Not only do I feel detached from my ex-girlfriend, but I feel detached from my life. I feel like I'm simply existing. That isn't how this was supposed to go. This was supposed to be it for me. The life I always dreamed of. The more time I spend in England, the more I realize that without Eliza, my life is worth nothing.

"Arizona?" Jade knocks on my bedroom door.

"Yeah?" I brush a tear from my jawline.

"You okay?" She pushes the door open, noticing my red, puffy eyes.

"Yeah, just homesick." I lie. "Sorry, I'm not much fun tonight…"

"Wanna take an early night?" Jade steps inside, closing the door behind her. "Maybe I could help you out a little…"

"How so?" I furrow my brow. "You going to get me a flight home?"

"Well, no." She strips her tee from her body, the material falling to the floor. "But I can take your mind off things…"

* * *

Pushing through my apartment door, it's almost six in the evening, and I know Eliza doesn't have any classes today. She's been on my mind more today than any other and I've just blown Jade off for the evening. I need to be alone for a while. I need to just be alone and think. Take some time to myself. Figure out what the hell I'm doing thousands of miles away from home. I mean, I know _what_ I'm doing, but is it what I _should_ be doing?

Honestly, I don't know. I don't know anything lately.

Locking up for the rest of the night, I take my cell from my pocket and throw my kit bag down in the kitchen. Cranking up the thermostat, I head for the huge floor to ceiling window and lean against the frame. I'm around twenty floors up, but it gives me a good view of London. The lights. The hustle and bustle. London is great, but it's too freaking cold. Way too cold.

It's Friday night and I'm sitting home alone. It's Friday night, and I need to speak to Eliza. I'd never usually call her up out of the blue, but I need to hear her voice. I need to see her face. She's probably busy and she probably won't answer, but I feel like I have to try. I feel like I need something to keep me sane or this night is going to turn into one huge mess. I know it is. I can feel it.

Bringing up my ex-girlfriend's contact information, I hit the video symbol and listen to the familiar sound of a video call in progress. I don't know why I'm bothering because she hasn't returned any of my calls, texts, or emails, but I believe I'm doing the right thing. I know she doesn't want me in her life anymore, but she's always been there and I'm struggling today more than I have since I arrived in England.

"Arizona?"

 _Oh, god. She answered._

"Is everything okay? Did something happen?" Eliza has a look of worry on her face. "You never call without warning…"

"N-No." I furrow my brow. "I just needed to speak to you."

"You're okay?" She asks, glancing over the other side of the room she's in. "Huh?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." I smile.

"Then I have to go." Eliza cuts the call.

Okay, that just broke my heart. Her cutting our call, my contact, it really has just broken my heart. Why did she do that? Is it really that hard for her to even look at me that she has to hang up on me? I just wanted to talk. I just wanted to check in with her. I know she hates me and I can't change that, but she could at least pretend to have some kind of respect for me.

Hitting the video button again, the same sound filters through my ears and my heart pounds hard in my chest. It pounds harder than ever before.

"Arizona, I'm busy!"

"Wait!" I yell. "Please, don't hang up on me…"

"What do you want?" Eliza asks, her eyes void of any emotion. "Shouldn't you be kicking a ball around or something?"

"Eliza…"

"Stop saying my name like that." She grits her teeth.

"Like what?" I ask, my forehead creasing.

"Like I mean something to you." She scoffs. "Are you just bored and lonely or do you need something from me?"

"I just…" Turning away from the screen, I can't bear to see her looking at me how she is. "It's okay, I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry…"

"Whatever." She sighs. "Can I hang up now?"

"I-If I ever came home…" The words leave my mouth faster than I have time to think.

"If you ever came home what?" She laughs. "Would I just take you back?"

"Y-Yes." Tears fall from my eyes, already knowing her answer. "Could we be together again?"

"No, Arizona." My eyes find hers and she gives me a sad smile. "No, we couldn't."

"O-Okay." I nod, my eyes closing. "I'm sorry I called. Bye, Eliza."

Ending the call, I drop my cell to the floor, my body sliding down the frame of the window. I don't know why I called her or why I thought she would tell me what I needed to hear, but now I'm crumbling and I don't know how to fix how I feel. Jade isn't who I want. No other woman in this world is who I want. I just want the one person I've been madly in love with since I was fifteen. I just want Eliza.

Picking my cell up from beside me on the floor, I open a new message and tap the screen. Eliza has made it clear how she feels and I only have myself to blame. How stupid could I be to ever think that leaving the US would keep us together? How stupid could I be to think that she loved me enough to figure this out? I may have agreed to end things with her, but we didn't even try. Eliza, she didn't try at all.

 ** _I would've packed up and got the next flight out if you'd given me any kind of hope. I'm sorry I broke your heart and your trust. X_**

 ** _Don't do this. It's been a year, Arizona. A year without you and five weeks since I let you go…you should do the same. Eliza._**

 ** _Yeah, I see that now. I love you, but I want you to be happy. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, but I failed epically. I won't contact you again. I'm sorry. X_**

Resting my head against the window, I throw my cell to the other side of the room, the sound of the screen smashing making me laugh. I give up, I really do. What's the point in anything anymore? What's the point being here and enjoying my career when it was always fucked from the start?

 _The one thing I'm taking away from this? Don't ever fall in love…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Three

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I'm feeling good. Christmas is just three days away and I'm at home with my mom. _Nothing feels better than being home for the holidays._ Claire has headed home to be with her family, but we talk for hours most days. I don't know why I waited so long to get to know her but that's not important anymore. What's important is that I'm feeling like myself again. I'm not sitting by the computer waiting for a call from a woman who left me and went to another country. I'm not hanging on for a miracle because I've let her go. Arizona, she's free.

Free to love whoever she wants. Free to go wherever she wants. I'll always remember how she made me feel inside but I had to let her go. I had to tell her no when she called me some five weeks ago, asking if we could ever be together. It's just not possible. I'd forever wonder if she was leaving again. I'd forever wonder if I'd always be second best to her soccer. I know it's who she is and that's why I've done what I did.

I talked it all out with mom when she visited me in Florida and she understood why I wanted to cut contact with my ex. She understood that even though _she_ has a tremendous amount of love for Arizona, I couldn't anymore. It was like waking up from a bad dream every morning, only to discover it was reality.

I can't live that way anymore. I spent the best part of a year wondering and waiting but I'm done. Arizona has cut all contact with me and I appreciate it. Why? Because if she'd kept contacting me, I'd have lost my mind. I'd have gone insane and she wouldn't have been here to face the consequences.

Taking the stairs two at a time, mom is sitting in the kitchen, perched on a stool at the island. "Morning." I lean in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Feels so good waking up here…"

"Really?" Mom raises an eyebrow. "I wasn't sure how it would feel being here."

"Uh, this is my home. Why wouldn't it feel good?" Laughing, I shove a bagel in my mouth.

"Never mind." She smiles, awkwardly.

"No, tell me." My brow furrowed, mom sighs.

"The last time you spent all this time at home, you and Arizona were still together."

"And now we're not." I shrug. "But it still feels good."

"I didn't want to ruin your morning or any plans you may have…" She clears her throat. "But, Barbara is stopping by today."

"So?"

"So, I thought you should know." Mom folds her newspaper. "I didn't want you to feel as though I'd put you on the spot."

"I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself, mom." I roll my eyes playfully. "I'm just planning to hang out today. That isn't going to make any difference to Barbara being here…"

"No, and she understands too." Mom stands, squeezing my shoulder. "She understands perfectly."

"Barbara is awesome." I nod.

"She just wants what's best for the both of you, honey. We both do."

"Thanks, mom." I pull her into a hug. "I'm making more coffee. Can I get you some?"

"Sure. I'll be back in a few minutes…"

Sighing, I lean back against the kitchen counter and glance around my childhood home. Yes, I spent a long time creating memories here with Arizona, but it's time to create new ones... _without_ her.

Preparing coffee, I pull myself up onto a stool and sit quietly. I'm completely up to date with my work at university and I know this holiday is going to be peaceful and relaxing. Mom and I always have the perfect Christmas and now isn't going to be any different. Just like the nineteen I've had with her so far, I'm going to make the most of this one.

 ** _C: Good morning. How's home? X_**

 ** _E: Home is great. You okay? X_**

 ** _C: I am. How would you feel if I told you I was about to climb in my car. X_**

 ** _E: Well, I'd tell you to have a safe trip wherever you're headed. X_**

 ** _C: If I told you I'd be with you in a few hours…_**

 ** _E: I'd say hurry up. X_**

 ** _C: Then I will see you soon. It's okay to come by, right? X_**

 ** _E: Of course. X_**

Smiling at the thought of spending some time with my girlfriend, mom reappears and raises her eyebrow.

"What's got you smiling?"

"Claire." I shrug. "She's headed over."

"Wonderful." Mom beams. "Is she staying?"

"I don't know." I pour coffee for us both. "It's the first I know of her coming here…"

"Great. I'll head to the store. Get in some supplies."

"You don't have to do that." I wave off mom's suggestion. "Me and Claire can do that when she gets here."

"Nonsense." She shakes her head. "She's a guest, Eliza."

"Okay." I smile. "I know better than to argue with you."

"Yes, you do." She throws me a wink. "Make a list. I'll head upstairs with my coffee. No time like the present."

* * *

Dancing around my bedroom, I pull my hair up into a messy bun before shimmying into a pair of skinny jeans. Pulling an oversized sweater over my head, I glance at myself in the mirror and smile. I'm feeling really good today and the sooner Claire gets here, the sooner I can relax with her.

The sound of the doorbell pulling me from my thoughts, I rush out of my bedroom and straight down the stairs. Mom is busy in her office but that's okay. She will head down and see Claire as soon as she realizes she's here. Clearing my throat, I brush myself down and tug the door open. "O-Oh."

 _This isn't happening…_

"Hi, uh…" Arizona stands in front of me, a wine basket in her arms. "This is from my mom."

"Thanks." I take it from her, our hands brushing. "I'll pass it on to mom."

"Yeah, okay." She steps back. "She just asked me to bring it by. She can't make it this evening."

"I'll let mom know." I set the basket down on the table beside the door. "Thanks for bringing it by."

"Bye, Eliza." Arizona throws me a small wave and backs up down the porch. "Have a great Christmas."

"You too."

My heart is pounding hard in my chest. I didn't expect this. I didn't expect Arizona at my door. She said she was coming home for the holidays but if I'm being honest, she's been the last thing on my mind lately. I know that sounds awful and makes me seem like a bitch, but this is how it has to be.

She may be here right now, but in a few days, or a few weeks, she'll be gone again. She'll be gone and I'll carry on with my life. Just like I have been since I cut contact. Just like I have been, with Claire.

A car pulling up at the end of our drive, my girlfriend cuts her engine and climbs out, giving me her best smile. Stepping out onto the porch, my eyes land on Arizona standing across the street and my heart breaks all over again. She looks lost. She looks like she wants to run and never look back. She looks like she's going to cry.

"Hey!" Claire pulls me into a hug, attempting to kiss me.

"Let's get inside." I pull back, avoiding her lips. "It's cold out here." Tugging her hand, we disappear inside and I close the door.

Arizona and I may not be together anymore, but I'd never do that to her. I wouldn't stand on my porch kissing someone else, not when I know how much this is hurting her. I may be moving on, but I'm not cruel. I may be moving on, but I still care about her.

I care about her a lot, actually. I've been trying to catch her games in the UK when I've had the time, and it's been enjoyable watching her and not missing her. I guess in some way I'll always miss Arizona, but knowing that there is nothing between us anymore, and there never will be, it makes things easier. It makes my days easier. It's certainly helped my sleeping pattern.

"I've missed you." Claire tugs at my hand, turning me in her arms. "I hope it's okay that I just showed up here…"

"It's good to see you." I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. "Was your trip here okay?"

"Yeah, fine." She shrugs, her arms wrapping around my waist. "Just wanted to see you for a few hours."

"You staying the night?" I raise an eyebrow.

"As much as I'd love to, I can't." Claire smiles. "I have family due tonight. They come from Canada every Christmas."

"Hey, you don't have to explain." I pull Claire in closer, relaxing in her arms. "I'll take what I can get right now."

"Wanna take this upstairs a while then?" Claire smirks.

"Mm, sounds like a plan."

* * *

Four hours later, I find myself taking the stairs with my girlfriend and seeing her out the door. She had a call from her mom around fifteen minutes ago asking her to head back, but I got her for a few hours. I knew it wouldn't be an all-night thing, but it's been nice not sitting alone. It's nice that she took the time to drive over here during the holidays. _She really is very sweet._

"I'll see you next week, okay?" Claire whispers against my lips as I grip the door handle. "If anything changes, let me know…"

"Nothing will change." I smile into a kiss. "We have plans."

"Mm, we do." She moans, gripping my hips. "And I'm beginning to wish those plans were happening right now."

"Keep those hands to yourself." I pull back, giving Claire a knowing look. "We have all the time in the world next week and you really should head back."

"Ugh, I know." She whines, the door opening. "I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"Okay. I'll speak to you tonight." One final kiss, my girlfriend steps out onto the porch and heads down the drive, slipping into her car.

 _What the hell…_

Focusing on the same spot on the street I did earlier, I find Arizona slumped against a wall, sitting on the floor with her knees up to her chest. Throwing Claire a wave, I wait until she's pulled away and rounded the corner before crossing the street and approaching Arizona.

"Why are you still here?"

She looks up at me, a small smile on her lips. "Just didn't feel like moving."

"Arizona, you need to leave." I pull her up to her feet. "You need to go home."

"Why?" She furrows her brow. "Am I bothering you?"

"I didn't even know you were still here, so no." I sigh.

"Then you should head back inside." She runs her fingers through her gorgeous blonde hair. "I'm just minding my own business."

"Can you not do that somewhere other than my street?"

"Sure, yeah." Her shoulder slump and she turns to walk away.

 _God, I feel like the ultimate bitch._

"Arizona, wait!" Sighing, I shift uncomfortably and she turns around, her eyes holding unshed tears. "Did you want some coffee before you head home?"

"No thanks." She gives me a thankful smile. "I wasn't here for your sympathy. I just hoped I'd see you again, is all."

"See me again?" My forehead creases.

"When you said goodnight to your girlfriend." She drops her gaze, a slight laugh falling from her mouth. "How pathetic am I?" She shakes her head. "Sorry…"

"Arizona…"

"Yeah?" Her eyes find mine.

"Come and have coffee," I say. "You're here and it's cold."

"I'm fine." She replies. "I'm used to the cold now."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." She backs up. "Your moms having a party tomorrow…"

"She is." I agree.

"I was invited...with my mom." She shoves her hands in her pockets. "I just...thanks for inviting me but I don't think I can make it."

 _I didn't invite her…_

"Arizona…" She stares at me, but I've got nothing for her. I don't know what I wanted to say. "Are you okay?"

"No." She gives me a sad smile. "But you are, and that's what matters."

"Did you want to talk?" _This is a mistake, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do._ "I don't mind…"

"I'm sure you have better things to do than sit talking to me, Eliza."

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't have the time…"

"M-Maybe we could take a walk?" Her eyes holding nothing but hope, I simply nod.

"Let me grab a jacket." I throw my thumb over my shoulder. "I'll just be a minute."

"Sure." She rests back against a wall. "I'll wait here."

Crossing the street, I rush inside my home and give myself a moment to think. I know this is a bad idea, but Arizona looks like she could use a friend. _I'm not her friend, though._ I haven't been her friend since I told her we had to talk less. I haven't been her friend really since she left for England. I wanted to be, but I couldn't. I think she's beginning to realize that, though.

Grabbing a jacket from the closet, I slip it over my shoulders and head back out onto the street. I don't know what conversation we're about to have but I know it's not going to make anything any better between us. The way I feel lately, I truly believe things are unfixable. I feel like no matter what she says, it couldn't possibly make things change.

"Where did you wanna walk?" I ask as I approach my ex. "Anywhere in mind?"

"I don't care." She shrugs. "I'm sure you're busy so whatever works for you…"

Silence surrounding us as we make our way down the street, this all feels useless to me. I don't want Arizona to believe that this means something, and I don't want to get attached to her again. I just want to enjoy the holidays and head back to university.

"London is so cold." My ex suddenly breaks the silence. "Like, I don't mind the cold, but it's an icy wind. It hurts your face."

"You'll adapt." I smile, glancing her way. "I saw your game last week."

"Yeah, top of the league again." She shrugs. "That's normal for the team."

"You scored four." I clear my throat. "It was impressive."

"Thanks." Her blue eyes find mine. "I, uh...I had a call from someone in Orlando."

"Who?"

"One of their coaches." She says. "It's frowned upon to call players directly, but the club doesn't know."

"What's frowned upon?" I furrow my brow.

"Different clubs enquiring about me. My availability."

"Your availability?"

"Orlando want to sign me…" Arizona replies. "For big money."

"Well, you'd solve your weather problem." I laugh.

"Yeah." My ex stops on the street. "But it wouldn't solve my other problems, would it?"

"Arizona…"

"I thought about it." She furrows her brow. "I thought about breaking my contract and coming home. I wanted to." She smiles. "I wanted to come home and figure things out here."

"What things?"

"My relationship. My life. Everything I've ever known."

"You left for a reason…" I say, my tone cold and void of any emotion.

"But suddenly my reasons don't matter. They haven't mattered since you told me we couldn't talk anymore."

"I can't do this with you…" I step back, holding up my hands. "You can't come back here and expect me to fall at your feet."

"I don't expect that." She shakes her head. "I don't expect _anything_ from you…"

"Then this conversation is pointless."

"I know but I figured I'd tell you about my offer anyway." She sighs. "Thanks for taking five with me but I should get home."

"I can't see you anymore, Arizona…"

"You won't have to." She smiles. "I know I fucked everything up, Eliza. I know and I'm willing to face the consequences." Her voice breaking, I can't be here any longer. "I'm going home to arrange a flight back to the UK. You won't have to see me again…"

"You're home for Christmas," I say.

"Mom had to leave town for a case." She shrugs. "I'll be alone for Christmas anyway."

"You can't be alone for Christmas." I shake my head.

"I've been alone for the last year. Christmas isn't going to make any difference."

"She was supposed to come with you…" I wrap my arms around myself, a chill settling in my bones. "Jade."

" _She_ realized I wasn't all in and broke it off."

"I'm sorry." I sigh.

"It is what it is." Arizona smiles, trying to be nonchalant. "I lost everything when I left this place." She glances around "I lost you…"

"I'm involved…"

"And I'm so happy for you." Arizona wipes a tear from her jawline. "I really need to get back. Bye, Eliza." Turning on her heel, my ex-girlfriend disappears, leaving me standing on the street alone.

 _Seeing her today was a mistake. A huge mistake..._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Four

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to a bright winter sunlight, I squint my eyes and stretch out my body. Last night really took it out of me but I appreciate Eliza taking some time to talk to me. I appreciate it, but it probably shouldn't have happened. It's only made things worse for me and I knew that would be the outcome. I just wanted to see her, though. I just wanted to be around her. Spend some time with her. I know it wasn't ideal and I know I'm now beside myself with heartbreak, but it's the first time I'd seen her in a year and she looks good. Hell, she looks amazing.

If only I'd never left. If only I'd put her first and not my career. My soccer. I know she told me I should go and I know we decided on it together, but I should've tried harder. I should've refused to leave. Refused the contract I was offered. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, as usual.

I just don't understand how we got so messed up. I don't understand how I lost her completely. Sure, I know she couldn't bear to be away from me, but was it really that easy for her to cut me out of her life? Was it really that easy for her to walk away and never look back? That's now this all feels. It all feels too easy.

Climbing from my lonely bed, it's been a long time since I stayed here. So long that the last time I slept in this bed, Eliza was by my side. She was here with me and in love. Madly in love. We were both in so deep that I never imagined living my life without her. How times change, huh? How life throws the worst at us when we least expect it.

Taking the stairs slowly, moms place is in complete silence, but it feels good. The quiet. The lack of police sirens and car horns. The peace and quiet are what I was looking forward to most, but so far, I haven't had that. It's hard to appreciate this quiet when I have so much going through my mind. Eliza. My decision to leave. My desire to come back. If I thought we could ever be together, I would come back. I'd come back in a heartbeat.

I'm not sure she believes that, though. I don't think she does but who can blame her? She lost me to a fucking soccer career that I suppose I could've had anywhere. I could have, but I also know that I had to take it when I did. Maybe this is my karma, though. Maybe this is my way of life laughing at me for losing the one person that meant the world and more to me. I guess I'll never know.

Taking my cell from the counter, I round it and put a fresh pot of coffee on. It's only 6:30 am but I want to get a run in before I start looking for flights home. I don't want to leave yet, but there's nothing here for me. Mom is out of town and Eliza hates me. Honestly, it's easier to just leave. It's easier to disappear and pretend like I never existed in my ex-girlfriends life.

A message catching my attention, I furrow my brow and my heart rate soars. For the first time in a long time, Eliza has text me.

 ** _E: Come to the party this evening. Mom insists._**

 ** _A: Thank you but I don't think it's appropriate. X_**

 ** _E: She asked me to contact you, Arizona._**

 ** _A: Please thank her, but I have a flight to book. X_**

 ** _E: So, book it tomorrow._**

 ** _A: Eliza…_**

 ** _E: Arizona…_**

 ** _A: I can't. X_**

 ** _E: If you change your mind, the offer is there._**

Sighing, I set my cell down on the counter and wrap my arms around myself. Why does she want me there? If she knew how much her daughter hated me, Eliza's mom wouldn't want me to go over this evening.

Honestly, I don't know what to do. I want to go because it's the last time I'm going to see Eliza, but I also don't want to go, because it's too hard. _I can't win, whatever I do._ Deciding that I don't want to think about it so early in the morning, I pour myself a large cup of coffee and move back towards the stairs.

If I can get through this morning without thinking about her, maybe, just maybe...I'll show up tonight. Mrs. Minnick has always treated me with nothing but respect so yeah, it would be good to see her. It would be good to check in and see how she's doing. One final time…

* * *

Breathing a deep breath, I approach Eliza's family home and listen to the sound coming from behind her door. Her place sounds packed out but that's to be expected. Her mom always did throw great parties, so I don't expect now to be any different.

Curling my hand into a fist, I think about knocking but then decide to ring the bell. If I don't receive an answer the first time I press it, I'll leave. I don't want anyone to think I'm here for anything other than to show my face. I don't want Eliza to think that I'm desperate, even if deep down I know that I am. She doesn't need that. She's involved and she's happy. She has a girlfriend and I'm not here to ruin that.

At one time, I would've happily come on in here and ruined it, but she deserves more than that. She deserves to be loved and appreciated. How can I do that all the way from London? The answer...I can't.

Hearing movement, the door opens and I'm greeted by Eliza's mom. "Arizona, come on in." She pulls me into a hug. "It's so good to see you…"

"You too." I smile, avoiding the rest of the room and the possibility of seeing Eliza. "Thank you for inviting me over."

"Oh, sweetheart." She cups my face. "You'll always be welcome in my home."

"I won't stay long…"

"Stay as long as you like." She smiles. "You're family."

Guiding me inside, Mrs. Minnick releases her grip on my hand and motions towards the kitchen. Finding Eliza standing alone, I clear my throat and weave through the crowd. "H-Hi."

"You came." Eliza seems shocked to see me, but I get that. I'm shocked that I even made it here.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind." I lean back against the counter. "I couldn't get a flight until after Christmas day and I didn't want to sit alone at home."

"No, I don't mind." She shakes her head. "Can I get you something to drink?" She points to the wide selection of alcohol on offer.

"Maybe a beer?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Coming right up." She pops the cap on a cold one and hands it over. "I forget you can drink freely in the UK ."

"I don't really get involved drinking with the team. I don't like the stuff." I wrinkle my nose.

"So, why are you drinking it?"

"Nerves." I laugh. "Trying to be sociable…"

"You don't want to be here, do you?" Eliza gives me a sad smile.

"I do, but I don't think _you_ want me to be here…"

"Mom invited you." She replies. "That's her decision."

"Right, yeah." I nod.

Silence falling between us, I glance around and find a few familiar faces. It's good to be home but it only makes me miss it more. The community. The people I've grown up with. I know it's going to hurt leaving again, but this is the life I chose. This is the way it ended.

"Your girl not here tonight?" I glance Eliza's way.

"No. She has family visiting."

"That's a shame." I drop my gaze. "I'm sure she'd be here if she could…"

"Yeah." Eliza smiles. "She drove here yesterday just to see me for a couple hours, so I know she would be here if she could…"

 _I took a flight home from the UK to be here but I'm not the hero…_

"That's sweet." I sip my beer, the thought of someone else's hands on Eliza making me want to throw up. "Is she local?"

"Arizona, we don't have to do this."

"I'm just trying to make conversation…" I sigh.

"Really, it's not necessary."

"You mind if I get some air out back?" I suddenly don't feel so good. "Then I'll leave…"

"Sure. Knock yourself out." Eliza shrugs.

Moving towards the patio doors, I slide one open and step out, closing it behind me. I've spent so much time in this yard over the years and now my memories are beginning to flood back. I don't want them to, but I don't want to ever lose them either. My memories with Eliza mean so much to me and they always will. I just wish she felt the same.

Dropping down onto a step close to the patio, I sip my beer and wrinkle my nose. I'm not a drinker, not at all, but I needed something to calm me. I needed something to stop the anxiety I have building inside me. Eliza doesn't want me here and her mom has left me to my own devices. What am I supposed to do with any of that?

The sound of someone clearing their throat catching my attention, I glance over my shoulder to find my ex-girlfriend standing behind me. "Mind if I join you?"

"No." I shake my head.

"You said Orlando offered you a contract?"

"They did, yeah." I nod, focusing on my beer bottle. "I thought about taking it but it's not as simple as that."

"Why?"

"They have to negotiate with the club I'm with." I shrug. "My club could refuse. They could set the buy-out clause too high. It could just fall apart."

"Oh." Eliza sounds...disappointed?

"None of it matters anyway…"

"No, I guess not." She sighs, her eyes focusing on the yard in front of us. "Where do _you_ want to be, Arizona?"

"Honestly?" I turn to face my ex-girlfriend fully and she nods. "I wanted to be here." I smile. "When I knew I was losing you, I wanted to be here more than anything. Like, I was playing for the sake of it. Soccer, it didn't matter."

"I wish you'd never gone." She says. "I know it was a joint decision, but I wish I'd never agreed."

"Me too." I agree, taking her hand. _God, that feels good._ "I can't change the choice I made, though."

"No, and I can't change how I feel."

"How do you feel?" I squeeze Eliza's hand.

"Scared. Unsure."

"About what?" I ask.

"About everything." She admits. "I never wanted this to be our future, Arizona. I never wanted to lose you."

"I didn't leave because I didn't love you, Eliza." My voice breaks. "I love you more than anything in this world."

"Loved." She tries to correct me.

"No. _Love_ ," I state. "I've never stopped loving you and I never will."

"Don't." Her voice cracks. "Please don't, Arizona."

"I'm sorry." I release her hand from my grip, feeling the loss immediately. "I'm just hurting you more by being here."

"You're not." Eliza disagrees, shocking me back into the conversation. "But I don't know what to do with any of this…"

"Nothing." I smile. "You do _nothing_ with it."

"And you?"

"I head back to England knowing I lost the only thing worth caring about." I brush a tear from my jawline. "I go back with the knowledge that you're happy and better off without me…"

"I never wanted this."

"I know...you keep saying that." I breathe out. "But it still doesn't change anything, does it?"

"I-I don't know." My heart drops at her admission. "I don't know what they hell I feel right now…"

"I think it's best if I leave, Eliza." I attempt to stand but she grips my wrist.

"I don't want you to."

"You're involved." I shake my head. "I'm not doing this when you have a girlfriend."

"Doing what?" My ex snaps out of her internal thoughts, realizing what she's just said to me.

"Talking this out. Discussing what we once were or whatever it is were doing right now."

"No, you're right." Eliza agrees. "I'm happy and you're leaving soon…"

"I want you to have the world, Eliza." I stand, pulling her up to her feet. "I want you to have everything we ever talked about. Kids. Marriage. Everything in life…"

"I wanted that with you." A tear slips down her face and I brush it away. "I wanted it all with you."

"And I fucked that up." I give her a sad smile. "I chose my career over the woman I love and I can never change that. I can never take it back…"

"I wish you could." My ex cries. "I wish we could just go back to us."

"Me too." My hand settles on Eliza's face and her breath catches. "I wish none of this had happened…"

"But it did." She sighs.

"Yeah, it did." My stomach somersaults, the desperate need to kiss her making its presence known. "I have to go." My hand drops from her face suddenly.

"Stay…"

"I can't, Eliza."

"Why?" She sniffles.

"Because if I do, I'm going to kiss you and make everything worse than it already is." Shaking the emotion from me, I look up to the sky and release a deep breath. All I've wanted is to be here with her. All I've craved is her skin on mine. Our hands, touching. All I've wanted is the woman standing in front of me, but I can't have her. She isn't mine. "Do you love her?" My eyes find Eliza's.

"W-What?" She furrows her brow.

"Your girlfriend…do you love her?"

 _If she says no, I'm going to kiss her. I know I am…_

"Y-Yes…" She stutters, uncertainty in her voice. _Fuck!_ "She's great."

"That's not what I asked." I give my ex a sad smile. "You should get back inside. You're shivering…"

"I just…" Eliza's forehead creases. "You got what you wanted." She sniffles. "You got the career and the opportunity to do what you always wanted to do."

"No." I disagree. "I got what I _thought_ I wanted."

"What did you want?" She tugs her fingers.

"You, Eliza." I finish my beer. "You were all I _ever_ wanted." Handing her my beer bottle, I pull my jacket tighter around me and back up. "Thank your mom for me?" I ask and she simply nods. "Have a great Christmas, Eliza." Deciding to take the back exit from my ex-girlfriend's place, I turn on my heel, the tears falling hard and fast from my eyes.

Reaching the street, I stop, crouching down and sobbing. Nothing else matters to me other than Eliza's happiness. Nothing in this world is more important than what she needs in her life. That isn't me. We both know that. At one time, she'd have begged me to stay, but now? Now she's moved on and she's happy. Honestly, she's glowing. For the first time in a long time, Eliza Minnick is glowing, and I'm not the reason why.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

"Hey, mom." I drop down onto the couch, my pajamas still covering my body. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," Mom says, sadness evident in her voice. "I'm so sorry I couldn't be there with you."

"It's okay." I toy with the hem on my pajama shorts. "I know you have to work."

"But it wasn't supposed to be this way." She sighs. "I was supposed to be home with you. You need me and I'm not there."

"Mom, it's okay." I try to reassure her. "I'm just going to relax and spend the day watching movies."

"Sounds perfect." Her voice breaks. "Sounds like exactly what we would usually do…"

"Yeah, it does." I agree, a small smile curling on my mouth.

"What about dinner?" Mom asks.

"I can prepare it myself." I clear my throat. "I prepared the vegetables last night…"

"I don't want you to eat alone." She cries. "This is all going horribly wrong, Zona. I'm so sorry…"

"Mom, relax." I run my fingers through my hair. "I'm not feeling very festive anyway."

"I know but I hoped I'd make you feel a little better…"

"You make me feel better just by being my mom." I smile. "Look, do you have any idea when you'll be home?" I ask. "I can't get a flight back to England for a couple of days yet…"

"I'm hoping to leave tomorrow…"

"Then I won't arrange anything," I say. "How about I stay and we spend New Year's Eve together?"

"That would be wonderful, honey." Mom doesn't sound so mad at herself now. "If you would…"

"I'd love to stay longer." I lie. "I should get dinner ready, I guess."

"Enjoy, Zona." Mom sighs. "Enjoy your day."

"Thanks, mom. I love you."

"I love you, too." Ending our call, I glance over at the kitchen and sigh. I have no intentions of eating Christmas dinner alone, but mom doesn't need to know that. If she thinks I'm kinda enjoying my day, she won't worry so much. I hate lying to her, but it's to put her mind at ease so I don't feel as bad.

Flicking through the channels, I don't see anything that catches my attention but that's okay. I'm not interested in watching Christmas movies or anything of the sort. The only thing I'm interested in…is Eliza. The only thing I've had on my mind since a few nights ago…is Eliza. I thought hearing her tell me she loves her girlfriend would help, but really, it's made things worse.

Why? Because knowing that she loves her means there is zero chance of us ever reconciling. Knowing that she loves her, means I can't do or say anything to change her mind. Not only have I lost Eliza, but she now loves someone else. How do I compete with that? How do I compete with someone who is here, and willing, and ready to be in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend? If I could change her mind, I would. The fact of the matter is though, I can't. I can't because it wouldn't fix anything. I still have to return to London, and Eliza would still be alone in our relationship.

She did the right thing in cutting contact with me, I know that now. It may hurt and it may be killing me inside, but it's totally the right thing for her to do. She doesn't deserve to sit at home, alone. She deserves to be dated. Loved. Taken care of. She deserves someone who isn't thousands of miles away, kicking a fucking ball around. My plan had always been to make the big money and take care of both of us, but she didn't need that. All she needed, was to fall into someone's arms each night when she climbed into bed. All she needed, was love.

She knows I love her, and she knows I'd do absolutely anything for her, but it wasn't enough. It will _never_ be enough. The long-distance idea didn't concern me at first, and honestly, I still felt completely connected to her whenever we spoke, but I realize that it's hard. I realize that Eliza is the kind of person who needs the contact. The kind of person who wants to wake beside the woman she loves, share breakfast, and begin her day with them. I realize that…and that's where I failed.

I failed more than I ever have in my life. Once I knew Eliza wanted me like I wanted her, I promised myself I'd never mess things up between us. I promised myself that I'd spend my life making her happy. How can I expect her to believe that when I can't even keep promises to myself? How could I have ever thought we would work out when she needed me here with her? If I could, I'd take it all back in a heartbeat. I'd do everything so much differently. If I could turn back time…I'd never have let her go. Never.

* * *

Curled up on the couch, it's almost five in the evening, and I haven't moved from my spot since around two. I have nothing to do and nowhere to be, so I took a shower and put some fresh clothes on. I may be lonely and bordering on depressed, but I don't need to stink, too. I thought about running to clear my mind, but I was worried I'd have run straight to Eliza's. I was worried that I'd arrive there and find her loved up on the porch with her girlfriend, sharing hot chocolate.

I don't know why I'm so concerned about what they get up to, but I am. I don't like it. I don't like knowing that someone else has what once belonged to me. I don't like knowing that she kisses her or touches her. I don't like that she makes Eliza smile and glow. I don't like anything my life has become, but I only have myself to blame. I only have myself to blame for everything I'm feeling right now.

The doorbell pulling me from my thoughts, I furrow my brow and glance up. I don't know why anyone would be calling here on Christmas day, but maybe my mom decided to surprise me. I don't think it's as simple as that, but I can hope, right? God knows I need someone here with me right now.

Climbing from the couch, I glance down my body and shrug. I have an old college hoodie on and a pair of my old team shorts. Approaching the door, barefoot, I tug it open to find Mrs. Minnick standing on my porch. "H-Hi." My forehead creases in confusion. "Is everything okay, Mrs. Minnick?"

"I brought you some dinner by…"

"Oh, thank you but I'm covered here." I give her an appreciative smile. "Thanks for thinking about me, though."

"Your mom called. She was worried you hadn't eaten."

"I have." I lie. "Finished a while ago…"

"Then let me help you with the clear up?" She arches an eyebrow. "I don't mind…"

"No, that's okay." I step out onto the porch, closing the door behind me. "You should be home with Eliza."

"She tried to call you." She says. "We wanted you to join us for dinner…"

"Oh." I smile, half-heartedly. "I just…I blocked her number."

"Why?" Mrs. Minnick furrows her brow.

"Because I'm not in her life anymore." I shrug. "She doesn't want that and since I've been home, I understand."

"Oh, Arizona." She squeezes my arm.

"I'm okay." My voice breaks. "You don't need to be here. I'm okay…"

"Please, let me inside for five minutes…" She dips her head, her eyes finding mine. "Just a few minutes?"

"Okay." I nod, wrapping my arms around myself. "But then you really have to leave."

"I know." She agrees, stepping inside behind me. "Eliza has been…distant."

"Why?" I ask, turning back to face her. "She was happy when I saw her a few nights ago."

"She's been like this since you left the party." Her mom shrugs. "She says she's fine, but I know she's not."

"I'm sorry." I sigh. "This is all my fault. I never should've come home. I never should've come to your place." It's true. Whatever Eliza is feeling, it's my fault. If she's hurting, I'm to blame. If she's pissed, it's all on me. "I promise I'll be out of here, out of her life, soon."

"That's not what I want, Arizona." Mrs. Minnick follows me into the kitchen. "I just think you both need to sit down and have a serious talk…"

"I can't." I shake my head. "Eliza told me that she can't see me anymore." I give her a sad smile. "I understand that and I'm happy to leave. She doesn't ever have to see me again. It's why I blocked her number."

"Arizona…"

"She hates me." I laugh. "She hates me and I get it, okay? You probably hate me, too."

"That's not true." She disagrees. "I just want you both to be okay. You're important to me, Arizona. You always will be."

"Your daughter is your priority, Mrs. Minnick." I head for the door. "You should be at home with her, not worrying about me. I'll be fine and I'll be gone soon." Pulling the door open, Eliza's mom nods slowly and approaches me. "Thank you for checking in but I'm okay."

"I'm sorry it came to this, Arizona."

"Me too."

* * *

Pounding the sidewalk, my legs burn for relief for but I'm not stopping. It may be 8 pm and Christmas, but my head is so full of everything that I need to run. I have to keep running. I could say that I'm making up for the lack of exercise since I returned home, but that's not what this is. I can exercise whenever I want, and now isn't a time I should be choosing to do it. I should be home, relaxing. I should be home, enjoying Christmas.

I should be doing those things, but I'm not. Mom isn't here. Eliza isn't here. Nothing is here and I'm alone. I'm generally okay with loneliness if I'm being honest, but tonight I feel different. I feel different because Mrs. Minnick came by earlier and said some things. I didn't want to hear about my ex-girlfriend and how she's feeling, but she told me and now it's playing on my mind.

Have I really pissed her off being here? Does she hate me more than she did a few hours before I arrived at the party? Does she wish I didn't exist? _I wish I didn't exist._ My music pumping in my ears, I breathe hard and deep, focusing on the end of the street. Just one more lap of the block and I'll call it a night. One more, and I can fall into bed, waking fresh to a new day tomorrow.

Rounding the corner, my body collides with another, knocking them to the floor. "Shit, sorry!"

"I-It's okay…" I pull my music from my ears, focusing on the body in front of me.

"Eliza, are you okay?" I pull her up to her feet. "I should've been more careful."

"Arizona, I'm fine." She brushes herself down.

"Did I hurt you?" _What kind of question is that? It's all I do…_

"No, just shocked." She gives me a small smile, her eyes glossy. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just feel bad." The evening chill sets in, my body shivering. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"Honestly, I'm fine." Eliza shoves her hands in her pockets. "Why are you out running so late?"

"Figured it was better than sitting home alone." Shrugging, I glance down the street I've just come from. "You headed home?"

"Yeah, just needed to take a walk."

"Mind if I join you?" I arch an eyebrow, pulling my hoodie from around my waist and covering my body. "Unless you wanted to be alone…"

"No, it's okay." We slowly make our way down the street. Eliza's place is around ten minutes from here, so I know I'm going to get some time with her. "How was your day?" She asks, her eyes focused on the sidewalk.

"Quiet," I say. "Not like Christmas at all…"

"No." Her eyes find mine, a small smile curling on her mouth. "No, it didn't feel like Christmas at my house, either."

"Why not?" I ask, my brow furrowed.

"Spent most of my time in my bedroom." She shrugs, crossing the street. "Had a headache most of the day and I didn't really feel like doing much."

"You coming down with something?"

"I don't think so." My ex-girlfriend shakes her head, disagreeing. "It's just been a busy few months, I guess."

"Y-Yeah." I nod slowly. "So, you have plans for New Year?"

"I do." She loses my eyes again. "I'm headed out of town. Some fancy hotel, spa, thingy."

"Sounds perfect." The realization of who she will be spending her time with hitting me square in the chest. "Mom is headed home tomorrow, so I promised I'd hang around until after New Year's Eve."

"I'm sure she would love that." Eliza smiles, her eyes shining brightly as we slow close to a street light. "You've missed her, huh?"

"Always." I sigh. "It's been months since I saw her and then she had to leave town. I just…hoped I wouldn't be alone, you know?"

"I did try to call you," Eliza admits. "I know mom told you, but I did."

"I know, I'm sorry." I give her a sad smile. "Blocking your number was the best thing for us. You asked me to let you be, and you told me you couldn't see me anymore, so I was respecting that."

"That's sweet."

"No, it's painful." I counter. "But, it's how it has to be…"

"Tell me what to do, Arizona." Eliza stops, facing me fully. "Just…tell me what to do."

"Um, about what?" I look at her, totally confused.

"Everything." She breathes out, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I mean, you're here. You're actually here…"

"I've been here a few days now," I say.

"But you're here…" A tear slips down my ex's face and I'm completely lost. "I-I didn't expect it. I didn't think I'd see you. I didn't _want_ to see you."

"O-Oh." I drop my gaze. "I'm sorry…"

"But now that I have…all I want is to see you more."

"Eliza, I'll be gone in a few days."

"And that is what's killing me inside." Now that the truth is coming out, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. "Seeing you, talking to you…I just." She shakes her head. "It's messing with my head."

"I blocked you, Eliza," I reply. "I blocked you and other than that, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do."

"I know…"

"I can't not visit home." I sigh. "I can't lock myself away because you hate me…"

"I don't hate you."

"You do." I laugh. "You do, but I hate me too so it's okay." I dip my head, finding her eyes. "It's okay to hate me."

"I don't want to hate you." Her voice breaks. "You've always been there. You've been my best friend through life…"

"And you ended that." I furrow my brow. "You ended our friendship, Eliza."

"Because I thought it was the right thing to do."

"It was." I nod. "I understand that now."

"I shouldn't have done that." She disagrees. "I shouldn't have cut you from my life how I did."

"I'm glad you did," I admit, my heart breaking. "I'm glad you cut me from your life because now, you're moving on with yours. You have a girlfriend and you're in love. I'm happy for you, okay?"

"Arizona…"

"No." I hold up my hands. "You don't have to say anything. You don't have to explain. I lost any right to know about your life when I left here and that's something I have to live with…"

"But-"

"But nothing." I cut her off. "You have plans. You have a future with your girlfriend. Me, I have my soccer and I'm okay with that now."

"H-How?" She asks. "How are you suddenly okay with it?"

"Because being home has shown me that I truly did lose you." I take her hand. "I'm not here to cause you trouble, Eliza. I'm here because I thought I was supposed to be. Now, I realize that I was wrong. I was wrong to come here, hoping you would realize what we had, and I was wrong to say those things I did to you at the party." I squeeze Eliza's hand. "You're involved, and you have everything you need here. Me, in a week…I'll be gone."

"Arizona…"

"I have to go." I drop her hand and throw my thumb over my shoulder. "I won't see you again, so…Happy New Year." I smile. "I hope it's the best ever for you…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Six

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _New Year's Eve…_

Right, I got everything I need. My bag is packed, now I'm just waiting for Claire. She isn't due here for another couple of hours, but I'm looking forward to getting out of town. It's what I need right now. Arizona said some things to me last week and now I'm getting her off my mind once and for all. If I'm being honest, it's not what I want, but she hasn't contacted me and I don't expect her to. She's home with her mom and I just hope she's happy.

She shouldn't ever have to choose what she wants in life and I guess she was truly letting me go when I spoke to her a few nights ago. There were things I wanted to say to her, things I wanted us to figure out, but she wouldn't allow me to. Maybe she didn't want to hear them or maybe she's just tired of trying to do the right thing all the time. I don't want her to be unsure about her future and I know she was right. She was right when she told me she would be leaving soon. I understand that she has a contract to honor and I understand that it isn't as simple as her coming home and us being good again.

I wish it was that simple, but life never works like that. It never gives us what we want and need…never to be unhappy again. The only thing I can take away from my relationship with Arizona is how good she made me feel. How much she loved me. I got to experience her in the way I always wanted to, and now she's free to have that with someone else.

She's free to move on in England, just like I told her to last year. It isn't going to be easy letting her go, and I know I was doing that before she came home, but I have to. We have to let each other go or this hurt, this pain, it will never end. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of missing someone who isn't even in my life anymore. I just want to get on with my life while Arizona does the same.

When she said those things to me at the party, I meant it when I told her I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to just take her upstairs and lock us away forever. That wouldn't have been the right thing to do, though. It would've been wrong and I recognized that. I stopped myself from getting too close while she was home, and now I don't have to worry about her leaving again. I don't have to beg her to stay, because even though I'll always love her, we're nothing to one another. We're nothing, and we never will be again.

If we'd kissed, if we'd got too close over this last week, I would've been setting myself up to get hurt again. Nothing has changed, and in a way, I'm thankful for that. We could've quite easily made something more of my ex-girlfriend's time here, but we didn't. As much as I wanted to go to Arizona's place on Christmas evening, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to put me through that again. As much as I wanted to kiss the face off her, I stopped myself and now I'm feeling better for it. I'm feeling like there is hope for me, my future. I may have always wished for a future with Arizona but there is nothing I can do about that. I cannot love her like I want to when she is all the way in London, and she understands. At least, it seems like she does.

"Eliza!" Mom yells, startling me.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come down here please?"

Leaving my bedroom, I take the stairs slowly, checking my cell for any messages. Mom has a look of worry on her face but I don't know why. She looks like she's about to cry, but again, I've no idea why.

"Mom?" I furrow my brow. "What's wrong?"

"I-I just had a call." Her eyes close. "F-From Arizona."

"O…kay." I don't like this feeling. I don't know what this feeling is, but I don't like it.

"Barbara." She clears her throat. "She was in an accident."

"An accident?" My knees weaken. "What kind of accident?"

"C-Car." Mom steadies herself against the kitchen counter. "C-Car versus truck."

"Oh god." My mouth runs dry. My legs, they're dying. My body…it doesn't belong to me. "I-Is she…I mean, is she alive, mom?"

"Yes." Mom simply nods. "She's alive. I don't know what her injuries are, but she's alive."

"Thank god." Placing my hand over my chest, I hit Arizona's number on my cell and call her. _Voicemail. Damn it!_ "Can I use your cell, mom?"

"Of course." She hands it over. "What for?"

"I need to call her." My voice breaks. "I need to call Arizona."

"Yes, you should." Mom agrees. "She will need someone, Eliza."

"I-I don't think I can be that person for her." I shake my head, dropping my gaze. "I don't think she would want me around…"

"Call her, Eliza." Mom gives me a knowing look. "And you should probably cancel your plans."

"Let me speak to her first." I breathe out, heading for the patio doors. "I don't know what's going on, so let me call her first."

Heading out into the yard, I pull up my mom's last dialed and find Arizona's number sitting on the top of the list. I appreciate that she called my mom to inform her, but I wish she'd called me. _She wouldn't call you._ Giving myself a moment to breathe, I hit the call button and wait for it to connect.

"Hi, Mrs. Minnick," Arizona says, her voice laced with fear.

"A-Arizona, it's me."

"O-Oh." She stutters. "Eliza, is everything okay?"

"Do you need someone?" I ask, my voice breaking. "Just to sit with you?"

"No, thank you. I'm okay."

"You shouldn't be alone." I furrow my brow. "I can come to the hospital now if you don't want to be alone…"

"Eliza, I appreciate you offering but I'm okay." She says. "I'm waiting for mom's surgeon to come speak to me and then I'll know more."

"Surgeon?"

"Femur." She sighs. "She's going to be okay…"

"I'm so sorry, Arizona." I rest my head in my hands. "What happened?"

"I don't know much yet." She replies. "Internal bleeding. She's pretty banged up. They're trying to control everything but I'm sitting here not knowing what's happening."

"I can be there with you."

"No, you have plans…" She says, leaving no room for discussion. "I need to figure things out for myself."

"You're going back to England?"

"No, I can't." Arizona disagrees. "I've spoken to my coach and I've explained that I need to be here while mom recovers. They don't like it but I can't leave her alone. What kind of person would I be if I did that?"

"Your mom comes first…"

"I know." I can feel her smiling and it sends a shiver down my spine. "Thank you for calling, Eliza."

"I had to."

"I appreciate it," Arizona replies. "Have a great time out of town."

"I can change my plans," I suggest. "If you need a friend, I can change them…"

"No, don't do that." She sighs. "If I've learned anything today, it's that life can change in seconds. Go and have fun. Love her, Eliza. Let her love you in return. You deserve it." Cutting our call, I remove mom's cell from my ear and glance down at the screen. Why doesn't she want me with her? How can she be okay with sitting alone in a hospital waiting room? I don't understand.

 _I don't understand any of what's happening today…_

* * *

We've been driving for the last twenty minutes but something feels off. Something about leaving town when Arizona is alone and hurting feels completely wrong. I know she said she doesn't want me there and I understand why but is it really that simple? Is my trip away more important than being there for my ex-girlfriend?

"You're quiet." Claire interrupts my train of thought. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No, it's okay." Her hand settles on my thigh, a sinking feeling settling in the pit of my stomach.

"Something doesn't feel right…" She slows a little on the open road.

"I just...something happened a little while ago."

"Is everything okay?" Claire asks, worry in her voice.

She doesn't know Arizona is even home right now. She doesn't know my ex came back hoping to fix things. Sure, nothing happened, and I'd never do that to Claire, but she doesn't know Arizona is here and I feel like it's about to blow up when I tell her.

"Arizona's mom…" I run my fingers through my hair. "She was in an accident."

"Oh, no." Claire pulls over at the side of the road. "Have you called her? She must be going out of her mind with worry in London."

"She's here."

"What do you mean...she's here?" My girlfriend asks. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's not important." I sigh.

"It kinda is, Eliza." She gives me an incredulous look. "She's here, she's your ex, and you thought it wouldn't matter if you didn't tell me?"

"Well, no." I furrow my brow. "She's home for the holidays, Claire."

"Sure, she is." She rolls her eyes. "And you haven't seen her?"

 _Shit!_

"I, uh…" I drop my gaze. "I saw her a few times but not intentionally."

"Not intentionally?" She scoffs.

"Mom invited her over before Christmas. Then I saw her Christmas evening."

"You spent Christmas with your ex-girlfriend?" Claire's voice breaks as she turns to face me. "What the hell are we, Eliza?"

"I didn't spend Christmas with her. It wasn't like that. I literally bumped into her in the street. I was with her for all of five minutes…"

"I don't believe you." She shakes her head. "I don't believe that you haven't been with her."

"Excuse me?"

I can't believe what I'm hearing. I haven't stepped out of line once while Arizona has been home. I haven't got close to her. We've simply spoken. I'd never cheat, no matter how much I wish Arizona was still mine. I'd never do that to another person. It's not me. I was raised better than that.

"How long has it been going on?"

" _Nothing_ has been going on…" I sigh.

"I just...I don't like knowing she's around." Claire wipes a tear from her jawline. "I don't like knowing that she's here when you still love her."

"I'm not doing this with you." I shake my head, avoiding what Claire has just said. "Can you take me home please?"

"So that's it?" She scoffs.

"You've just accused me of cheating…"

"No, I just...I'm sorry." Claire focuses on the console between us. "I don't want to lose you, Eliza. I care about you too much."

"I'd like to go home." I give my girlfriend a sad smile. "I need some time."

"For what?"

"Just...to be alone," I admit. "Maybe I went into this too quickly with you. I don't know."

"You mean, I was your rebound?"

"No. Not at all." I disagree. "But I've done nothing wrong here, yet you're quick enough to accuse me."

"You really wanna go home?"

"Yeah." I nod. "I do." I don't know at what point this day went wrong, but I don't feel good. I don't feel good about anything at all right now. I can't win either way. Arizona is alone and Claire thinks I'm a cheat.

 _Yeah, I need to be alone..._

* * *

Taking the staircase two at a time, I head for the kitchen and find mom sitting with a cup of coffee. She hasn't said much since I unexpectedly arrived home from my trip with Claire, but I think she's waiting for me to blow up. It's going to happen sooner or later, we both know that. She knows something isn't right but I'm thankful she isn't pushing me.

"I'm going out…" I grab a bottle of water, removing the cap. "I won't be long."

"Anywhere nice?"

"The hospital." I grab my car key. "Do you know where I'll find her? Where I should look?"

"Arizona?" Mom raises her eyebrow. "She's at home…"

"Mom, I don't have time to play around. I know she isn't at home…why would she be?"

"Because they sent her home for the night," Mom says, sipping her coffee. "I know you're not having a good time right now, but I'd appreciate it if you lost the attitude."

"I'm sorry." I rest my elbows on the counter between us. "I just don't know what to do…"

"About what?" Mom asks.

"I miss her, mom." My voice breaks. "I'm trying to forget about her, but I can't. She just…she's there. Everywhere. Constantly on my mind."

"That's love, Eliza." Mom glances at me over the rim of her coffee cup. "You can dress it up however you like and you can deny it all you want, but you are so in love with each other."

"It doesn't change anything, though." I sigh. "Arizona still has to leave for England when her mom has recovered."

"I wish I could give you the answers you need, honey." Mom stands, approaching me. "Only you know what you can handle. Only you know if you can love Arizona from another country."

"I want to, mom." She pulls me into a hug. "I never wanted to end things with her."

"I know." She presses a kiss to the top of my head.

"Everything is just a mess…" Sighing, I pull back and brush a tear from my jawline. "I don't know where to begin trying to fix it."

"Go and visit her," Mom says. "See how she is."

"She told me she didn't want me there." I shake my head. "I already offered…"

"So, don't offer." Mom smiles. "Show up. Be her friend. Talk to her. Just…be whatever she needs right now."

"I think Claire broke up with me…"

"Well, Arizona needs you right now. Claire will survive." Throwing me a wink, mom motions towards the door. "Come on, I'll drive you over."

"You're sure?"

"I am." She nods. "If you want to come back here with Arizona, call me." She smiles, pulling the door open. "It's New Year's Eve and you should both be together…"

"Thanks, mom." I give her a thankful smile and slip inside her car. "I don't know what I'd do without you…"

"You'd survive." She shrugs, backing out of the drive. "I've always known you would. Arizona, too."

Falling into a comfortable silence, mom heads slowly down our street, giving me a few minutes to think over what I'm about to say. What I'm about to do. Arizona may close the door in my face when I knock, but I'm not backing down. She needs a friend, and I'm that person for her. It may not feel like it to her, but we've always had each other's back, and in a way, we always will.

I know mom is hoping for a reconciliation beyond friendship, but I'm not sure that's possible. Right now, I want to be her friend. Right now, I want to help her through her super shitty Christmas at home. If I have to sit in silence with her, _that_ is what I'll do. If I have to be a sounding board, she can count me in.

 ** _"_** ** _If I've learned anything today, it's that life can change in seconds…"_**

Arizona's words from earlier play over in my head. Knowing that I have to be there, I feel calmer. I feel like this day may not end as badly as I thought it would. I want Barbara to come home fully recovered, and Arizona and I to be on good terms. After all, we've never been apart. Whether that is as friends or lovers, we've always been in each other's lives. Now shouldn't be any different, and I'm beginning to understand that.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Seven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _My life is falling apart._

No matter how I look at it, or what positives I can take from my past, everything around me is falling apart. I feel useless. I feel alone. I feel like I could breakdown at any moment. I don't know what the hell happened on the road today, but mom is seriously injured, and I'm no use to her. How can I be when I seem to be incapable of looking after myself? How can I possibly make her feel safe and loved at home, when I'm barely keeping my own shitty life together?

I need someone here with me. I need someone to break the silence I've been sitting in since I arrived home from the hospital. I didn't want to leave, but mom's doctor insisted and promised to call me if anything changes. She isn't far away, and I can be there pretty quickly, but now I'm sitting here feeling lost. I'm sitting here wishing I'd never left home. If I hadn't, Eliza would be here now. She'd be here with her arms wrapped around me, holding me safely, making me feel loved.

If she was here, she would lift my mood. She would crack a joke or do something to take my mind off what's going on around me. She always had a way of making me smile when I wanted nothing more than to cry. She had that calming presence about her, and I lost that the moment I lost her.

I mean, I'm sitting here alone, and she's having a world of fun with her girlfriend in a swanky hotel room. How did that happen? I feel like I woke up and she'd gone. I feel like the last year of my life didn't happen, and she just left me. How can two people be so in love, but worlds apart? How can I still crave her when I know she's in someone else's arms? Shouldn't I be mad at her? Shouldn't I be angry and pissed off, hating her for how we ended? No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't because I love her too much. I love her so much that letting her go so she could be happy was the right thing to do.

I can't be mad at her for wanting happiness, even if that's without me. Of course, I want her to choose me. Of course, I want her to fall into my arms and never let me go. I want those things, but it's too late. Too much time has passed and we're a lifetime apart. I made the choice to leave, and this is the consequence of that. Me…alone. Me…feeling worthless. Me…wondering if I'll ever be happy again.

When we met in the street on Christmas evening, I know she had things she wanted to say. Usually, I'd have stopped and listened. Usually, I'd have given her the opportunity to say whatever was on her mind. In that moment though, I couldn't hear it. In that moment, I had to leave before I broke down in front of her. She's been through enough emotion with me to last her a lifetime, so rehashing everything that's already been said was pointless. It would only be dragging up the past, with nothing changing.

As much as I want to spend my life with her, London still remains. One day, when mom is better, London will be my destination and I don't know when I'll be back. If I could cancel everything there, I would. It isn't that easy, though. I can't just walk away from the team. I'm being paid big money and they signed me for three years. I can't just ask to leave, it doesn't work that way. I'm tied to them until further notice.

I'd thought about calling Orlando and speaking to the coach there, but it's inappropriate. I'm also pretty sure it's illegal in some way. They may want me, but they wouldn't be willing to pay the buy-out _and_ a fine for approaching me. I may be good and in demand, but nobody is worth that kind of money. Nobody. Right now, as my career stands, I have no choice but to return to London and wait this out. One of two things can happen. One, nothing happens and I remain there for two years, or two, Orlando enquire and they agree to let me go. I know which is more likely, but I'm trying not to think about it.

I'm trying not to think about the fact that my club won't let me go until my contract ends and they're not able to reach an agreement with me to sign on for longer. It wasn't supposed to be this way, but it's somehow turned out like this and now I never want to leave town. I never want to pack my bags or take a flight to London ever again. Not because I don't love the team or the people there, but because the people here mean more to me than anything.

Sitting on the couch, my home in darkness, a flash of light catches my attention as the sound of a car pulls up on my street. I'd check it out, but I can't be bothered. I'm tired, I'm hungry, I have no energy, and honestly, I think it's best if I just lock up and sleep the rest of this year away. New Year's Eve is bullshit and the sooner January begins, the sooner I can sort my life out and leave this place.

A knock startling me, I glance over at the door and stare at it. I don't move. I don't shift. I simply stare at the door, hoping whoever is on the other side will leave. Another knock, I roll my eyes and sit forward in my seat. I don't have time for mom's friends checking in with me. I don't have time for them being here and trying to be helpful. They don't show their faces any other time, so I'd rather they didn't show now.

"Alright!" I yell, another knock beginning to piss me off. "Fucking hell."

Pulling the door open, I find the one person I care about in this world standing on my porch. "Eliza…"

"Arizona." She holds up her hand. "I know you don't want me here and I know you're probably mad at me for coming, but I wanted to check in with you. I _need_ to check in with you."

Glancing over my ex-girlfriend's shoulder, Mrs. Minnick throws me a wave through the window of her car and pulls away. "Your mom left…"

"I know." Eliza smiles. "Can I come in?"

"It really isn't a good idea." I sigh. "And you're supposed to be out of town."

"Yeah, well I'm not." She shrugs, shifting from left to right. "Have you eaten?"

"No." I drop my gaze. "Have you?"

"No." Clearing her throat, I lift my head and find Eliza's eyes. "And I'm really hungry."

"I didn't go to the store." I step aside, motioning for Eliza to come in. "But I think we're in time to order in…" Closing the door, I flick the lock and step past my ex.

"Wait." She grips my wrist, her hand on my skin setting me on fire. For the first time in days, I feel human. I feel something. "Arizona, are you okay?"

"Sure, yeah." I give her my best fake smile. "Just need to order before it's too late."

"I want to be your friend, okay?" Eliza searches my face. "Please, let me…"

"We need to talk, Eliza." I run my fingers through my hair. "Just…can we eat first?"

"Sounds good enough to me."

* * *

I don't know what to do. Eliza is sitting beside me, but I'm scared to move. If I do, she'll disappear. If I breathe, it will be as though she was never here. I want her here and I feel like I need her here, but why isn't she at the spa she was supposed to be at? Did she cancel her plans for me? I hope she didn't. I already feel bad enough about everything else.

She seems happy to be here. She hasn't once given me a reason to believe that she's here for the sake of it, or because she feels sorry for me. She's here, and I'm so thankful for that. I want to speak to her, but I don't know where to begin. She said she wants to be my friend, but I need more. I can't continue a friendship with her when I love her as I do. Back in high school, it was hard enough. Some days, it was crippling. Knowing how much I wanted her but not being able to do anything about it...I couldn't go back to that. I couldn't bring myself to go through those emotions again. That want. The desperate need.

"How was your food?" I clear my throat, my eyes finding Eliza's. "Was it okay?"

"Perfect." She smiles, setting her plate down on the coffee table. "Have you heard anything from the hospital?"

"No. They said mom will be recovering for a while."

"I'm so sorry this happened, Arizona." Eliza crosses her legs under her body, facing me fully. "I was getting ready to leave and mom told me. Thank you for calling her."

"They're close." I shrug. "Seemed appropriate."

"I wanted to call you…"

"You did." I furrow my brow.

"From my own cell." She says, tugging her fingers. "I wanted to come straight over."

"Eliza." I set my own plate down. "Why are you here?"

"Because you need someone." She gives me a small smile. "Because I was wrong to ever cut contact with you. I am sorry, Arizona."

"I have to go back to London…"

"I know." Eliza nods slowly. "But that's not important right now."

"Except it is." I give her a sad smile. "It's important because it's the reason why we're not _anything_ anymore."

"Do you think maybe Orlando will happen one day?"

"I hope so." I breathe out. "I don't want to be so far away…"

"You asked me…" She sighs. "If we could ever be together again…"

"I did." I drop my gaze. "And I got my answer."

"I-I would." Her eyes bore into my soul. "If you came home, for good, I'd want nothing more than to be with you, Arizona."

"I can't promise you that, Eliza." _God, I wish I could. I wish I could promise her the world._ "I don't know what the next year will mean for me…"

"But it's possible?"

"It is." I agree. "But I don't want to tell you what you want to hear, only to disappoint you down the line. I'm tired of disappointing you and I'm tired of hurting you."

"It was a joint decision, Arizona."

"Maybe, but I feel like the blame for us ending still lies with me. I feel like whatever we decided, I'm the one who caused this."

"Hey, you didn't." She shifts closer to me. "You followed your dreams. There is nothing wrong with that."

"It all feels wrong." My voice breaks. "My life is falling apart, Eliza."

"Come on." My ex-girlfriend pulls me into a hug, her arms wrapping around me. "Your life is just getting started."

"None of it matters anymore." Tears slip down my face. "I don't have you anymore, so nothing matters."

"You do have me." Her head rests against my own, that feeling hitting me hard. The feeling of love. Care. Respect. "I'm sorry I told you I couldn't see you anymore."

"No." I pull back. "No, you shouldn't be here saying this stuff. You have a girlfriend…"

"Yeah, I don't think I do anymore." She shrugs. "She accused me of cheating a while ago."

"With who?" I ask, shocked.

"You." She laughs. "If only, huh?"

A laugh falling from my mouth, it's the first time I've felt like myself all day. This is all I needed. Eliza. Her laugh. Her words. Those arms holding me. It's all I needed but I feel like I need to take a step back. I don't know what she expects from me anymore, so it's best if I cool this before it heats.

"Thanks for coming over." I give my ex a genuine smile. "It does mean a lot to me."

"I can hang out a while…"

"Shouldn't you be at home with your mom?" I arch an eyebrow. "It is New Year's Eve."

"I want to be here with you." She takes my hand. "And I know this is all going to turn to shit, but still, I need to be here with you."

"W-Why?"

"Because I miss you." She squeezes my hand. "I miss us."

"Don't." My voice breaks. "Please don't do this, Eliza. I can't watch us fall apart again."

"We need to figure things out." She nods, agreeing. "But that doesn't need to happen tonight, does it?"

"No." I shake my head. "Being like this is nice. Spending time with you."

"Then we will do that. We will spend some time together…" Somehow feeling like the weight of the world has lifted from my shoulders, I relax back against the couch and smile. It's not a true smile, but it's certainly the next best thing.

* * *

Relaxed and appreciating each other's company, we've been watching a movie for the last hour and I feel like Eliza is going to leave soon. I'd fully expect her to, but I'm enjoying her being here too much. I know she should be home with her mom, and usually, we'd all spend this day together, but I understand that things have changed. Things have changed dramatically since we left school and I'm still trying to adjust.

I've never been one to embrace change and I'm not sure I ever will, but I have to one day. I have to try to move forward and work everything out. Eliza says we have stuff to figure out but she's right, nothing needs fixing right now. If I'm being honest, I don't know when it will be fixed. The fact remains...I'm leaving.

 _God, I don't want to leave._

Her cell buzzing on the coffee table, she reaches forward and takes it in her hands. Sighing, something tells me she's not in the mood for whoever is contacting her.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, it's just Claire."

"Oh." I clear my throat. "I guess you have to leave…"

"No, I'm not leaving." My ex-girlfriend disagrees. "I'm not sure we have anything to say to one another."

"I think you should work things out with her, Eliza." Her facial features changing, she sends off a reply and sets her phone back down. "I do," I say as she faces me fully.

"You want me to be with Claire?" She arches her eyebrow. "Really?"

"She's here." I give her a sad smile. "She's very much here and soon, I won't be."

"I need to find a way to be with you, Arizona." Her admission catching me off guard, my heart pounds hard in my chest. "I know it's going to be hard, but I miss you. I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too." I nod slowly. "But can we do this?"

"Do you want to do this?" She asks. "Do you want to try and do this long distance, hoping that one day you'll be back here…"

"I've never wanted to be without you, Eliza." I sit forward in my seat, my head in my hands. "It just didn't seem fair to you to love you when I couldn't be with you."

"And what about what's fair to you?"

"I didn't matter." I lift my head, finding her teary green eyes. "I created this mess by leaving, so I didn't matter at all. When you said we should break it off, I knew that decision had to lie with you."

"You never wanted that?" A tear slips down her face. "You just agreed because you thought it was what I wanted?"

"Well, yeah." I sigh. "I wanted what was best for you."

"Oh god." Her breath catches. "What the hell did I do…"

"You did what worked for you." I shift closer. "And that's okay."

"No, it's not." She scoffs. "None of this is okay and I'm so sorry…"

"Maybe we shouldn't lay the blame on either of us," I say, trying to reassure her. "It isn't going to solve anything if we're going to move forward."

"I love you…" Her words filter through me, my body floating. "I love you and I need to be with you, Arizona."

"I love you, too." My hand settles on Eliza's. "But I really need you to think about this. I need you to know what you want."

"I know what I want." She says confidently. "I've always known…"

"You wanna head home?" I ask, changing the topic of conversation. I don't want either of us to feel overwhelmed tonight. This is going to take time and a whole lot of discussion. "See your mom, spend time with her…"

"Will you be joining us?" Eliza asks, her eyes pleading with me.

"If you'd like me to be there, I'd love to join you…"

"Yeah?" That smile I've missed appears, beaming and almost blinding me.

"Yes." I return my own smile. "Let me change and I'll be ready to go…" Climbing to my feet, I release a deep breath, my heart settling truly for the first time in a long time.

"Wait!" Eliza grips my wrist. "I just…" She stands. "Thank you."

"For what?" My eyes switch from Eliza's to her lips.

"For allowing me to be here…" Leaning in, her lips ghost over my own, all oxygen leaving my lungs. Steadying myself with the use of her hips, she deepens our kiss and I'm close to tears. "I've missed you so much Arizona, but I can't lose you again." Her forehead presses against mine. "We have to work this out because I love you too much to lose you again."

"Oh god."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Eight

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I've been home for a couple of hours and I can't believe Arizona is here with me. I can't believe she let me in when I called by, but to have her here with me now, the possibility of us getting back together ever present in my mind, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like the moment I speak, it'll fall apart. I feel like the moment I make any kind of movement, I'll watch her walk out the door.

I know that isn't likely to happen since she's sitting closer to me than she has been for the best part of a year, but I'm so scared of this ending, silence seems like the best option. Mom keeps flitting in and out of the living room, but I know she's just trying to be a good host. I don't know why since she's known Arizona since forever, but she's just as nervous as me. She puts on her telephone voice when she's nervous and Arizona has even looked at me once or twice, wondering what's going on with her.

I love my mom with everything that I am, but the more nervous she is, the more terrified I become. It's like a never-ending theme around here lately, but tonight, it feels good. It feels a damn sight better than it has been, anyway.

"Ladies, I have to head out for a while…" Mom appears, again. "Will you be okay?"

"Uh, where are you going?" I furrow my brow. "It's New Year's Eve."

"You know I'm not interested in all that." Mom rolls her eyes.

"That still doesn't explain where you're going…"

"Can you mind your own business just this once?" She asks and I raise an eyebrow. "You don't have to know every detail of my life, Eliza."

"Fine." I roll my eyes. "You're being weird and I don't like it."

"Eliza, your mom doesn't want to tell you where she's going. Let her be." Arizona speaks, my heart rate soaring.

"Thank you, Arizona." Mom throws her a wink. "You and I always were on the same page." Both of them laughing, I look between them, my forehead creasing.

"Okay, now you're both being weird." I slump back in my seat.

"Goodnight, girls." Throwing a wave over her shoulder, mom disappears out of the room and I hear the front door open. "Behave yourselves."

 _Oh. My. God._

"Did she just…" My mouth falls open. "Did my mom just leave so we could be alone together?"

"Finally." Arizona laughs. "Thought you'd never get there."

"She didn't need to leave."

"Agreed but she obviously felt it appropriate." Arizona shrugs. "If you don't want to be alone with me, I can leave." She sits forward.

"If _I_ don't want to be alone with you?" I grip her wrist. "In what universe is that the truth?"

"In one where this isn't happening and I'm dreaming." She gives me a sad smile. "This is real, right?"

"So real." I breathe out.

"Then I'm glad your mom left us alone." Arizona relaxes back into the same position beside me. "I've missed you, Eliza."

"I've missed you too." I lean in, pressing a kiss below her ear. "We still have a lot to figure out though…"

"I know." She takes my hand.

"Where do we even begin?" I sigh, turning and facing her fully. "I mean, I don't know where to start with any of this."

"Me neither." The gorgeous blonde sitting next to me groans. "But I know that regardless of where I am in the world, I want to be with you. I need you in my life."

"I have to try." I shift closer, now virtually in Arizona's lap. "I can't lose you again. No way."

"Then we both have to try…" She pulls me closer, settling over her legs. "Tomorrow is a new day. A new year. I want so much for us both, Eliza. Now is that time."

"I don't know how I survived this last year without you." My voice breaks. "Was it easy for you?"

"No." She gives me a sad smile. "Nothing about what we become was easy. It was crippling."

"I'm sorry I ruined your experience in London." I drop my gaze. "That was really stupid of me."

"Hey." She lifts my head. "I was the stupid one for ever going…"

"You still have to go back, though."

"I do." Arizona agrees. "But that isn't happening right now so can we just enjoy the last night of the year?" She raises an eyebrow. "I don't want the next one to begin how this one has been."

"Yes." I smile. "Yes, I want nothing more than to enjoy this night with you."

* * *

 ** _C: Can we talk, Eliza? X_**

 ** _E: No._**

 ** _C: Please? I'm sorry for what I said. X_**

 ** _E: And I'm sorry you feel that way. It isn't a good time._**

 ** _C: You're with her, aren't you?_**

 ** _E: Yeah, I am._**

I'm not going to lie to Claire, I have no reason to. Arizona and I are willing to work things out, and I don't need her around for that. I know I kinda bolted earlier without saying much, but I'm sure Claire realizes what's happening here. It wasn't my intention to hurt her, but she hurt me the moment she accused me of cheating. I never would've done that to her, but now? Now, I'm looking after myself and taking back the relationship I foolishly ended.

 ** _C: I can't have meant that much to you._**

 ** _E: I'm not doing this with you. Arizona and I have things to talk about._**

 ** _C: You're going back to her?_**

 ** _E: Yeah. Yeah, I am._**

 ** _C: Well, fuck you!_**

Hitting the settings tab on my cell, I hit the block selection and sigh. Arizona seems to be in her own world, but as of this moment, I'm free to do as I please. Kissing Arizona earlier was always going to happen, but I won't lie, I do feel kinda shitty for not officially ending things with Claire before I did.

It's 11:45 on New Year's Eve and I'm wrapped around Arizona, scared to ever let her go. She was right before when she said we should enjoy this evening and so far, I am. We are. It's been quiet and I guess we've just both been thinking, but we're together and that's what matters. Of course, I wish we could just be totally at ease but that's not possible. I don't know what the future holds for us and once Arizona leaves, I don't know the next time I'll see her.

I'm hoping I can get out to London when I have breaks from university life, but the uncertainty is still there in the back of my mind. I guess it always will be, though. I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel this way. This worry. The fear of losing her again one day.

"You wanna sit outside for a while?" Arizona asks, her nails grazing the back of my neck.

"Mm." My eyes close. "Whatever you wanna do."

"I don't care what we do if I'm being honest." Glancing over my shoulder, I give her a smile. I've been settled between her legs for the last hour or so and right now, the thought of moving, the thought of disconnecting, I don't like it. "Just happy to be here."

"Come on…" Climbing from between her legs, I pull Arizona up to her feet and we head outside, hoodies covering our bodies.

Her arms wrapping around my waist, I relax back against her and release a slight sigh. Just yesterday, I never imagined I'd be in her arms. I was planning a trip with Claire, missing my ex ridiculously.

"Hey…" I glance up at her, my head tilted. "What are we?"

"What do you wanna be?" Arizona asks.

"I want to be yours again…" I know I have things to discuss with Claire, but she made it perfectly clear what she thought of me just this afternoon. "I want us to be together again."

"Consider it done." Arizona presses a kiss to the top of my head. "I love you and I want you to be happy…"

"I'm happiest when I'm with you."

Arizona's lips find the skin of my neck, illiciting a low moan from me. _God, I've missed this._ My head falling back on her shoulder, her arms tighten around my waist and tears slip down my face. I don't know how this year is ending how it is, but I'm taking it. I'm taking it and I'm ready to make this work with Arizona. I'm ready to love her, regardless of the distance between us.

Knowing she never wanted to end things with me breaks my heart, but in that moment, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought by letting her go, we would both be happier. Clearly, I was wrong. Clearly, I've been the biggest asshole on the planet.

"Are you staying the night?" My voice is barely above a whisper.

"I'd love to stay the night." Arizona's chin rests on my shoulder. "You think that would be okay?" Her hand slips up the front of my hoodie and settles on the skin of my stomach.

"Y-Yes." I whimper. "More than okay."

"You okay?" Arizona attempts to pull her hands away but I grip them.

"Don't stop doing that." Her fingertips ghost across my lower stomach. "God, I've missed you touching me…"

"Mm, I've missed it too." My girlfriend breathes out. "All I wanted was to be here with you. To hold you." Arizona turns her face into the crook of my neck. "Kissing you and just being yours…"

"Arizona…" My breath catches, her hand brushing the underside of my breast.

"Eliza…" Her voice is low.

The sound of fireworks in the distance, I glance down at Arizona's watch and realize it's midnight. Turning in her arms, my lips find hers, a low moan rumbling in her throat. Our kiss deepening, my hands slip to her perfect ass and I push her back, guiding her inside my home.

"Please, don't stop this." My girlfriend pleads, those deep blue eyes killing me. "Eliza, please…"

Her back connecting with the kitchen counter, I pull her away and drag her towards the staircase. Right now, there are too many obstacles in the way. I just need her naked and in bed with me, so if that could happen real soon, that would be amazing. Stripping her hoodie from her body as we reach the top of the stairs, she tugs the zip on my own, guiding it over my shoulders.

"Fucking beautiful…" Arizona pulls back, her eyes trailing my body. "God, you're so fucking beautiful."

"Inside the bedroom." I squeeze my thighs shut, my body craving the only person I've ever loved. "Now, Arizona."

"This is happening, right?" Finding her eyes, unshed tears welling in them, I simply smile and push her back and down on my bed. The bed I once shared with her. The bed I've made love to Arizona in so many times. This is happening and there is no doubt about that.

"W-Wait." She places her hands on my chest as I climb over her, straddling her legs.

My heart sinking, she's going to stop this. I know she is. Why wouldn't she? Just this morning, I was leaving to be with Claire, but now? Now I'm here and begging for her touch. Studying her face, she is staring back at me, that look of love she once had for me as intense as it ever was.

"W-What?" I furrow my brow, attempting to climb off her.

"Stay." She grips the waistband of my sweats and tugs me against her. "Happy New Year, Eliza."

"Happy New Year." Leaning in, my lips crush into Arizona's, that desperate need for her ever present in the forefront of my mind. My body aches for her. It throbs. Nobody in this world has ever made me feel how my girlfriend does, and nobody else ever will. Whether we're together or not, she will always be on my mind. "Arizona…"

"Tell me what you need, Eliza." Her words sending my head into a spin, I slip her shorts over her legs, her naked sex now on view only for me. Removing the final barrier covering my own body, I climb back on the bed and settle over my girlfriend.

"Shit." Tugging my bottom lip into my mouth, I dip my head and take her nipple between my teeth. "God, you've no idea how much I need you."

"I've dreamed about this moment since the second I left." Arizona's back arching from the bed, I suck a little harder, my hand dipping between her legs. "Oh, fuck." My fingertips connecting with wet heat, my eyes close and I smile against her skin.

"You're so wet…"

"I've spent a year thinking about you." She whimpers. "And I really need you…"

"You've got me." Pushing two fingers inside my girlfriend, I waste no time in giving her exactly what she wants. All breath leaving her body, her hips lift from the bed, but I push them back down. My thumb resting on her swollen clit, she gasps again and a smile forms on my mouth. "God…"

"C-Come here." Arizona pulls me closer to her. "I want you here with me." Pushing deeper, her fingertips find my own soaked center and my mouth falls open. I'm going to last all of five seconds once she truly touches me, but I don't care. Every moment that she spends at home, I'm going to take what I can get. I'm going to spend every moment wrapped up in her arms. This? This is the desperate need to reconnect. This? This is the want and need we've both craved since Arizona left for London.

"Fuck." Her own fingers slipping inside me, my head falls back on my shoulders, that familiar tightening in my stomach intensifying. "A-Arizona…"

"I'm never letting you go again." Sinking deeper with every movement, I can feel the truth in her words. I can feel the love between us. It's never not been there, but it was hard to feel at times. Now, though? Now, it's as strong as it ever was. I know, because I can feel the emotion pouring from the both of us.

"Oh, fuck." Her thumb teasing my clit, my body falls forward and I brace myself on my left hand. "Arizona, I'm so close…fuck!"

"Come for me, Eliza." She leans up, capturing my lips. "God, I need to feel you come undone for me." Mumbling against my mouth, I ride her hand, never slowing my own pace inside her. "That's it." She moans, my walls squeezing her fingers.

"Oh, god. I'm coming." Falling over the edge, my body shakes and writhes against her, her own walls squeezing me, begging for release. Sliding down her body, I suck her clit into my mouth, adding a third finger.

"Oh, shit!" Her legs trembling, I curl my fingers and hit the spot that drives her insane. "Fuck, yes. Don't stop." Shaking, Arizona grips the back of my head, her fingers tangling in my hair. "Y-Yes." Coming hard, arousal covers my fingers, coating the tip of my tongue. "F-Fuck."

"Mm." Lapping up everything I can, I press a kiss to the inside of her thigh, my fingers slowly pulling out. "God, I've missed you." Dropping down beside Arizona, she turns on her side, studying my eyes. "I love you, Arizona." My voice breaks. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Nine

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking to bright sunlight streaming through the window, I squint, glancing to my left. _Oh god._ Last night happened. It actually happened. I woke once in the night wondering where the hell I was, but this morning, I know exactly where I am. I'm in Eliza's bed. Naked. So very very naked. Does it feel good? Hell yeah, it feels good. It feels good but it's only making me never want to leave the US again. It's making me want to call my coach up in England and say thanks, but no thanks.

I know that it's possible to do, but I guess in this moment, it doesn't matter. How can anything matter when Eliza is sleeping beside me for the first time over a year? How can I care about _anything_ right now? I'm finding it hard, that's for sure. I mean, her naked back is on full view...for me. Not Claire or anyone else. Just me.

How the hell did this happen? How am I here and in her arms? Her bed? Her life? I feel like everything has fallen back into place, even though deep down, I know it hasn't. That simply isn't possible. Not until I'm back here permanently. Not until I've packed up my crap in the UK and I'm on a one-way flight back home.

Turning, my arm wraps around Eliza's waist, my heart beating so perfectly in my chest. For the first time in a long time, I feel relaxed. I feel content. I know it's not going to last, but just for a little while...it feels good. It feels exactly how it's supposed to feel. Like, I've never been away. Like, Eliza has always been in my life, just how I'd always hoped. Imagined.

This is all going to fall apart when I have to leave again, but we're stronger than that. In this moment, I feel like we're stronger than anything thrown our way. After spending a year apart and alone, I _know_ we've got this. I _know_ my girlfriend will be here and waiting for me when I return. Whether that's in a few months or two years, I know Eliza will be waiting for me with open arms.

Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, I slowly climb from her bed and pull some clothes on. I need to check my cell which is downstairs. Mom could've called or the hospital, so yeah, as much as I want to lie here and never move, I can't. If mom is awake and feeling more comfortable, I should be there with her.

Quietly leaving Eliza's bedroom, I take the stairs slowly, barefoot and barely awake. Brushing my hair from my face, I clear my throat and take my cell from the kitchen counter. I have a missed call from mom's cell so that's good news. If she wasn't feeling good, she wouldn't have the ability to call me.

"Good morning, Arizona." A familiar voice startles me from behind.

"M-Morning, Mrs. Minnick." I turn, a blush creeping up my face. "Happy New Year." I smile, weakly.

"Happy New Year, sweetheart." She pulls me into a hug. "Eliza still sleeping?" She pulls back and rounds the counter, pouring coffee for us both.

"Uh, yeah." I drop my gaze. "I'll get freshened up and out of your way. I'm sorry."

"Out of my way?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yes." I nod. "I'm sure you have plans with Eliza and I'm here unannounced."

"You could never be here unannounced, Arizona." Handing me a cup of coffee, Mrs. Minnick settles on a stool. "Are you visiting your mom today?"

"Yeah." My hands wrap around the cup. "I've had a call from her, but I was sleeping."

"She's expecting you." Eliza's mom nods. "She feels better. Well, as well as she can feel."

"You've spoken to her?"

"I've been there this morning." She shrugs. "Thought you two would be making up for lost time and I didn't want to disturb your morning."

"I-I uh, I mean…" Shaking my head, I sigh. "I'm not here to hurt Eliza." My eyes find her mom's. "I know you probably expect that, but I never wanted to hurt her."

"I know, honey." Mrs. Minnick gives me a soft smile. "Eliza knows that too."

"Someone said my name…"

A husky, sleep filled voice pulls me from my conversation. Turning, I find my girlfriend standing at the bottom of the staircase, watching me. Smiling when her eyes trail my legs, my shorts kinda short, she closes the distance between us and settles beside me.

"I need coffee." She squints, yawning.

"Here...take mine." Sliding it across the counter, she takes it and sips.

"Mm, that's good." Her eyes close and her mom simply watches us. I guess an explanation would be best but honestly, I have no words. I don't even know how I ended up here, so an explanation is the last thing on my mind. "Happy New Year, mom."

"Happy New Year, my love." She gives her daughter a soft smile. "Busy today?"

"Don't know." Eliza shrugs, turning her attention to me. "Are we?"

"Oh, uh…" I clear my throat. "You wanna spend the day with me?" I furrow my brow.

"What do you think?" My girlfriend rolls her eyes playfully.

"I think I shouldn't push my luck." My hand settles on the small of Eliza's back. "Whatever you wanna do, okay?"

"You visiting your mom?"

"I am." I nod.

"Can I come with you?" There is a hopefulness in her eyes.

"I'd love you to visit with me." Eliza's hand settles on my thigh, setting my entire body on fire. "If your mom doesn't mind."

"I'm doing nothing today." Mrs. Minnick holds up her hands. "I want lazy."

"Okay then." My smile widens. "It's a date."

"Yeah?" Eliza beams.

"Well, it's not." I laugh. "I mean, it would be a kinda crappy date."

"I'm with you." She squeezes my thigh. "I don't care what we do…"

"You ladies have a wonderful day." Eliza's mom says, her smile growing impossibly wide. "It's so good to see you both together again…"

* * *

Parking up, we both climb from my car and head for the entrance of our local hospital. I hate that I'm visiting my mom here, but Eliza is by my side, so I know whatever state she's in, I've got this. She was full of tubes and wires yesterday after her surgery, but I'm assuming that's no longer the case. If she was, she wouldn't have called me. _Damn, I hate that I missed her call._

Taking my hand in her own, Eliza and I head for the elevator, pressing the call button as we reach it. I feel like I'm walking in the life of another person today, I really do. Not only is mom awake and hopefully going to be perfectly fine after her recovery, but Eliza Minnick is holding my hand. After all that time apart, she's here and she's very much in my life today.

"Thank you for coming here with me…"

"Wouldn't wanna be anywhere else, Arizona." We step inside the elevator and hit the button that will take me to my mom. "It's so good to be here with you. Whatever the circumstances."

"I appreciate it." I lean in, pressing a kiss below her ear.

"I would've visited even if things hadn't changed between us yesterday…"

"Yeah?" My heart soars, the love I have for Eliza absolutely ridiculous. "You would?"

"I love your mom." She rests back against the carriage wall. "That will never change…"

"You're amazing." I sigh, resting my head back. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

"You came back." Eliza smiles. "There's a reason I said I couldn't see you anymore…"

"A reason?" I furrow my brow. "I thought it was because you had a girlfriend."

"No." She disagrees. "I knew if I spent any time with you, I'd want you. I'd need you just like I did this past year."

"I'm sorry…"

"No. No apologies." She shakes her head. "If I hadn't seen you while you were home, last night wouldn't have happened."

"Last night definitely happened." A smirk forms on my face. "Definitely."

"Oh, it did." Eliza squeezes my hand, the ding of the bell signaling our arrival. "Come on, let's check in with your mom."

Our hands never leaving one another's, we take a left and head for the room I left my mom in yesterday. I don't know what her recovery plan is, or what damage was done, but I feel less stressed knowing that things are going to be okay. I mean, they have to be, right? They have to be okay because this feeling of having Eliza with me is too good to lose.

Sliding mom's door open, her head is turned away from us, but thankfully, she doesn't look to be in as bad of a state as she did yesterday when they brought her in. Rounding the end of her hospital bed, her head lifts and she gives me one of her signature smiles.

"Arizona…"

"Hey, mom." I lean down, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You feeling okay?"

"Better, honey." Her mouth dry, I help her out with a sip of water before settling into the chair beside her.

"What happened?"

"I don't know." She sighs. "I was driving along the highway and something clipped me from behind. Everything is a blur after that. I think I lost consciousness as my car flipped."

"I'm sorry…"

"Hey, this isn't your fault." She gives me a knowing look. "I chose to go to the store furthest away. Not you."

"But if I hadn't suggested a movie night…"

"No." She holds up her hand, weakly. "I want to hear no more about it."

"I, uh…I brought someone with me." I glance up at my girlfriend, standing on the other side of mom's bed. "She wanted to see you…"

"Eliza." Mom smiles, turning to face my girlfriend. "Thank you for visiting."

"I wanted to be here." She rounds the bed, making it easier for mom to speak to the both of us at once. "I kept Arizona company."

"I knew you would." Mom throws Eliza a wink. "I knew it would happen eventually."

"Knew what would happen?" I cut in.

"Whatever it is you kids get up to." Blushing, I close my eyes but Eliza and my mom simply laugh. Why do our parents insist on making comments like that? Eliza's mom did it this morning and now my mom can't help herself. "I'm happy you have each other."

"Thanks, mom." I smile, taking her hand. "When can you come home?"

"Oh, it will be some time yet." She gives me a sad smile. "But I can look after myself, don't you worry."

"I'm not leaving until you're recovered." I shake my head. "No way."

"Arizona, you know you have to go back." Mom sighs. "As much as I'd love you here with me, you have to go back to London. How am I supposed to take early retirement if you're not there making all that money? How are you supposed to look after me, financially?"

All three of us laughing, mom throws Eliza another wink, but my heart feels heavy. I don't want to leave. I know I have to, but I don't want to think about that day arriving yet. The longer I put off booking a flight, the less I'll have to worry about it. _I really need to figure this out. The stress isn't good for my body._

"I'm staying a couple of weeks, okay?" I run my fingers through my hair. "I know you don't like that but it's tough." Shrugging, I remove myself from my seat and turn, looking out of the window. I can feel my emotions getting the better of me, but I can't help it. I hate feeling this way. All I want is to be happy with Eliza. She's the reason for my happiness and when I'm not with her, I'm nothing. I _feel_ like nothing.

"Whatever you wanna do…" My girlfriend approaches me, her hand settling on my shoulder. "Maybe you should call them and see how long you have before you need to leave?"

"Yeah, I guess I could do that." I nod, wiping a tear from my jawline.

"Hey, don't cry." Eliza wraps her arm around my waist. "We'll figure this out…"

"God, I hope so." I sigh. "I really hope so."

* * *

We stayed with mom for a couple of hours, but I could see the tiredness beginning to take hold. I know she needs to rest and I know she wouldn't sleep while she had company, so I made the decision to leave. I didn't want to, but now that I know she's okay, I can rest easier at home. I can figure everything else out and go from there. Eliza seems perfectly fine with whatever I decide, but I know it isn't going to be that simple when it comes to me packing up and boarding a flight. I know, she's going to be devastated. Just like I will be.

"Hey, I'm dropping you home, right?" I glance her way.

"Please." She nods. "I have some stuff I need to do but I'd like to see you later if that's okay?"

"Of course." I smile. "Got no plans…"

"Wanna share dinner again?" Eliza arches her eyebrow. "I know you eat all that rabbit food stuff, but I'll try it with you."

"You hate my rabbit food." I laugh. "And at the moment, I'm not in training." Shrugging, Eliza narrows her eyes. "Meaning, I may just treat us to some greasy, cheesy pizza and a soda."

"You wouldn't!" She shrieks. "Arizona Robbins does not put _crap_ in her body! Not now, not ever!"

"Just…one night?" I ask. "I could use a blow out with you, I really could."

"Okay." My girlfriend nods. "Just one night. Back to the rabbit food tomorrow."

"Back to the rabbit food tomorrow." Taking her hand, I squeeze it. "I love you…"

"I love you, too." Pulling over at the side of the road, before we reach Eliza's street, I cut the engine and remove my seatbelt, turning in my seat. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." I run my fingers through my hair. "Just wanted to look at you a little longer."

"Look at me?" My girlfriend asks, her forehead creasing.

"How beautiful you are." I reach my hand out, brushing a few stray strands of hair from her face. "How gorgeous you are."

"I'm not." She blushes, her gaze dropping.

"You are." My thumb trails her bottom lip. "And I'd really like it if you stayed with me tonight…"

"I'd like that." Eliza nods slowly. "I don't really want to leave you right now."

"Me neither." I give her a sad smile. "But we have all night together, right?"

"Yeah." She agrees. "All night."

"Then I should get you home." I fire up the engine. "The sooner I get you home, the sooner you'll be with me." Fixing my seatbelt around me, I pull away and turn the corner. Eliza's home comes into view, as does a car I don't recognize. "Someone at your place?"

"Yeah." She sighs. "Looks like it."

"Anyone I know?" I crawl up her street.

"Just…Claire." Wringing her hands, Eliza sinks back in her seat, chewing on her bottom lip. "I really don't want to do this." She mutters to herself.

"If you don't want her here, I can ask her to leave…"

"No." She glances my way as my car comes to a stop. "I have to do this sooner or later."

"Do what?" I ask, confused.

"Tell her we're back together. Tell her there is no us anymore."

"Wait." My heart sinks. "You guys are still together?" My mouth runs dry. "I mean, you slept with me last night and she didn't know you'd broke it off?"

"No, she does." Eliza tries to backtrack. "Just, we haven't really discussed it. I left yesterday when she brought me home and I avoided her."

"Shit." I leave my engine running. "Y-You cheated…"

"No, I didn't." My girlfriend settles her hand on my thigh, but I instantly remove it. "Arizona, please?"

"Please, what?" I breathe out. "I mean, you know I want you, but I can't do this with you until I know you've got nothing with her."

"I _don't_ have anything with her." She scoffs. "You think I'd do that to you? You think I'd sleep with you if I was still with Claire?"

"Well, no." I give her a sad smile. "But she's sitting on your porch and she's staring." I clear my throat. "She also doesn't look happy, so I think you two are on totally different pages. Maybe even different books."

"I should go." Eliza's shoulder slump, my eyes still focused on Claire. "Should I head over later, or?"

"Sure, yeah." I'm not totally hearing my girlfriend, but I know I want her with me tonight. No amount of Claire's could stop that from happening. "Fix this first…"

"Yeah, whatever." Eliza climbs from my car, slamming the door shut.

 _Huh?_

"Eliza, wait!" I yell, gaining nothing from her. "Damn it!" Hitting the wheel, I drop my head in my hands and sigh. Watching her disappear inside her home, Claire follows her and the door closes. I know she wouldn't do anything to hurt me or Claire, but I don't like that she's here. I don't like that Eliza has just insinuated that her ex may not know what's going on. I don't like it, but what position am I in to knock right now and demand answers? I'm not in any position to do that. I fucked her around before we broke up, so I have to head home and hopefully, wait for a call I'm not sure is going to come.

 _Way to go, Robbins. The world's biggest asshole._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Ten

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Silence surrounding me, I move around my kitchen and wait for Claire to say whatever it is she's come here to say. Arizona has just left and I don't know if she's pissed at me. I should've worded things better when I tried to explain Claire and I. I should've told Arizona exactly what was happening before we'd even slept together. I know she's worried and I know she deserves more than bringing me home to find my ex on my porch, but I didn't expect her to show up. I didn't expect Claire to even be in town.

Turning, I find my ex watching me, her eyes burning holes through my body. I'd start this conversation, but I don't know what she wants from me. I don't know why she even feels there is a conversation to be had. Maybe she's holding onto something that doesn't exist, I don't know.

"What's going on?" I clear my throat. "I mean, why are you here?"

"I think we need to talk…"

"About what?" I lean back against the counter. "We don't have anything to say, Claire."

"Really?" She furrows her brow. "That's it?"

"I believe it is, yes." Nodding slightly, I do feel bad. I feel awful for what I've done. Would I change it, though? No. No, I wouldn't.

"I know you love Arizona and I was willing to see past that." She runs her fingers through her dark hair. "But this isn't her home anymore, Eliza."

"This will _always_ be her home."

"Yes, but she's going again." Claire smiles. "Soon, she'll be gone and you'll be left here to figure things out _again_."

"You've no idea what we've discussed." I furrow my brow. "You don't know what's going on…"

"Maybe not but I know Arizona and her soccer comes first." She snorts. "I know that if she had to choose, her soccer would always come before you."

"You don't know that." My heart sinks.

"I do." Claire approaches me, taking my hand. "That's what happened last year, and it will happen again."

"Claire…"

"You can pretend that life for the both of you is amazing, but think about it. She didn't stay for you last year and as her career grows, this between you guys will only end up with you hurting. _You_ will be the one who sits here alone...while Arizona is living her best life."

"You should leave." I give my ex a sad smile. "I know you mean well but this isn't your business. This is between Arizona and me."

"It will be my business when we head back to Florida and you're alone. Hurt. Needing someone."

"I won't." I attempt to tug my hand away but Claire grips it tighter. "Claire…"

"All I'm asking is that you think about this." She leans in, her lips pressing against mine. _Fuck!_

"Get off me!" Pushing her away, I furrow my brow. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry." She steps back, shoving her hands in her pockets. "I just...I'll see you back at university."

Rushing out of the kitchen and my home, Claire disappears and I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know what she wants me to say. I don't know what she actually wants from me. Arizona and I are working through this and I need her to back off while I do that.

Yes, she's right in that Arizona will be leaving again, but that doesn't mean we can't be together. I made that mistake last time around and I'm not doing it again. Claire and her words do worry me, but I have to push my worry aside. I have to focus on the fact that my girlfriend is very much here right now. Whatever happens, happens. I cannot control the future and I cannot control the past, but I can control the here and now. The here and now which includes Arizona and I in love, happy.

Taking the staircase slowly, I head for my bedroom and grab some things I'm going to need. Until Arizona leaves for London again, I'm staying with her. Barbara would want me to do that anyway so what's the point in waiting this out and hoping she will ask me over? I know she's angry that Claire was here, but now I have to go there and make her listen. I have to go there and tell her that I'm all in. I already was, but something tells me Arizona is going to need some reassurance.

Opening the top drawer of my dresser, the ring Arizona gave me on prom night is still sitting in the box I left it in. Taking it out, I slip it on my finger and smile. This ring represents happier times. Times I know we'll have again. We have to. It's the only future I see. Arizona and I, in love. A world of happiness. I fully expect things to be tough first off, but ultimately, we're going to grow old together. I don't see any other way this could end.

* * *

Pulling up outside Arizona's home, her car is on the driveway, so I know she's here. I thought about calling or texting her before I left but I wasn't sure the mood she would be in and honestly, if she'd given me a hint of it, I wouldn't have come by tonight. She knows I want to be with her, but something about leaving her earlier has been given me a bad vibe. Something about how she looked right through me, it felt off. _She_ felt off.

Climbing from my car, I release a deep breath and make my way up Arizona's porch. I don't know what I'm about to be faced with, but the sooner I knock, the sooner I'll know. Pressing the doorbell, I hear movement behind the wood separating us and then it opens.

"H-Hey." I clear my throat.

"Hi." Arizona gives me a weak smile. "I didn't think I'd see you tonight."

"I told you I wanted to spend the evening with you…"

"I know, but then things changed." She shrugs, leaning against the frame of the door. "I wasn't accusing you, Eliza."

"I know." I step closer. "I was just mad at myself for not talking to Claire sooner."

"Everything kinda happened at once, huh?" My girlfriend sighs.

"I guess so, but it doesn't excuse the fact that I didn't make you and I official to her sooner." Shifting uncomfortably, I toy with my car key. "C-Can I come in?"

"Yeah." She gives me a soft smile. "Kinda been missing you…"

"Yeah?" I step closer to Arizona, her hand gripping my jacket and pulling me inside. "I've been missing you, too."

"Then you should definitely stay the night." She smirks against my mouth, pushing me against her front door as it closes. "Because I have some stuff I need to discuss with you…"

"S-Stuff?" I pull back, pressing my hand against Arizona's chest. "What stuff?"

"Don't look so worried…" She furrows her brow. "Jeez."

"I knew this was going to happen." I push her away, seeing red, panic setting in. "Claire confirmed it for me, but I knew it was going to happen…"

"Whoa, what?" Arizona laughs, a hint of anger in her tone. "What the fuck did _Claire_ confirm for you?"

"That you're going back," I say. "Probably tomorrow knowing my luck." I roll my eyes. "That your soccer would _always_ come before me…"

"T-That's what you think?"

"It doesn't matter what I think." My voice breaks. _Here comes the verbal diarrhea_. "Claire kissed me, and you're leaving…" I can feel myself about to blow, but I really don't want to. I told Arizona I understand that she has to leave, but I didn't think it would be so soon.

"She kissed you." Arizona's shoulders slump. "Right." Backing up, I feel my heart tightening in my chest. My breath, struggling. "Claire kissed you…"

"This isn't about that." My forehead creases. "This is about us and what you need to talk to me about."

"Oh, it doesn't matter what I have to say." She holds up her hands. "You've just made it perfectly clear what you think about me, Eliza. _Perfectly_ fucking clear."

"Don't do that." I spit. "Don't put this all on me."

"I'm not." Arizona shakes her head. "I'm not putting _anything_ on you."

"Just…what did you want to talk about?" I drop my head, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." She gives me a sad smile. "You _should_ take Claire's word over mine. After all, she's the one who picked up the pieces when I left. It makes sense…"

"Arizona…"

"Go home, Eliza." She sighs. "I need to work out, anyway."

"So, that's it?" I laugh. "You _need_ to work out and you want me to leave?"

"Yeah, I guess I do." She nods, her eyes focused on the floor. Her eyes, focused anywhere but on me. "I'm here. I'm fucking standing in front of you…but what Claire said means more to you."

"No, that's not what I meant." I breathe out, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I just…you said you had stuff you wanted to talk about and that can only usually mean one thing."

"Yeah, well this time…it didn't." She shrugs. "I have to leave town tomorrow, so I guess I'll just see you around."

"Y-You're breaking up with me?" My heart sinks.

"I don't know what you want from me, Eliza." Arizona's eyes finally find mine. "I love you more than anything in this world, but what you just said to me hurts."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sick of the constant apologies." She says. "I'm tired of one of us always feeling bad about something. I don't want us to be like this. I don't want to always fight with you over decisions and our future. I want you, more than anything, but you believe my soccer comes before you."

"Does it?" I arch an eyebrow. "I mean, I could see her point."

"You should really go." A tear slips down Arizona's face. "I don't want to fight with you anymore. I just want you to be happy and in love. I want that to be with me, but you don't trust me. You don't believe _anything_ we have anymore, I can see it in your eyes."

"You left, Arizona," I state. "You left, and then you came back, demanding my attention."

"That wasn't my intention." She closes her eyes. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry you feel like you had to give me your attention to appease me. That won't happen again."

"All I wanted was you here with me," I say. "All I wanted was to give you my time and attention, but you still haven't answered my question. Will your soccer always come before me or not?"

"I'm not answering that." She shakes her head. "I can't believe you even have to ask me…"

"Then I have my answer." I pull my jacket around me tighter. "It _will_ always come before me. If it didn't, you never would've left me."

"I never wanted to leave you…"

"But you did." I give her a sad smile. "Whether you wanted to or not…you _did_."

"I need to pack." She clears her throat, squaring her shoulders. "Go home. Be happy. I love you, but I have things to do."

"You don't love me, Arizona." My own emotions get the better of me. "You keep saying you do, but how can we love each other if we're willing to live thousands of miles apart."

"You're right." She nods, opening the front door. "We can't."

"That's it?" I back up.

"That seems to be what you want to hear, so yeah, that's it."

Stepping out on the porch, I'm about to say something when Arizona closes the door in my face. I know I totally fucked that up, but how the hell am I standing here alone, and pretty much single? How am I about to go home alone, again, and let her live her life without me?

I'm the biggest asshole on the planet, I know that. I just…I'm so scared to lose her. I know it's inevitable and I know there isn't anything we can do about it, but I'm supposed to support her. I'm supposed to be the one she comes to when she has worries, when she needs to talk. She needed to talk just then, and instead of being the ear she needs, I dismissed her and caused a fight between us.

I mean, can we love each other so far away? Can it work, or will it fall apart like it did last time around? I'm not sure I want to even imagine that, but right now, I'm lost. Do I knock and work this out? Do I go home and call her later when we've both calmed down? Fuck, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do.

 ** _E: I'm sorry, I love you. X_**

Shoving my cell into my pocket, I take the steps of the porch and head for my car. After the things I've just said, and the way I've just spoken to Arizona, I'll be lucky if I ever receive a reply from her ever again. I'll be lucky if she didn't block my number the moment she basically kicked me out. The longer this goes on, the uncertainty about our future and our relationship, the more likely it is that it will all turn toxic between us. I don't want that to happen. I don't want her to hate me for the things I've just said. I know I was way out of line, but what Claire said has struck something inside me.

I know I agreed to the move to England with Arizona, and I know it's her career, but she did leave me. If the tables were turned, I'm not sure I could ever bring myself to leave. I don't care what opportunities I'd miss out on, I'm not sure I could've ever left Arizona. Having said that, I wasn't in that situation, so I don't know what my decision would've been.

 ** _A: I'm not sure you realize how much you've just fucked up any chance of you and I. You told me to leave, so I did. I came back for you, but it's not what you want. I wish you'd been honest with me, Eliza. I wish you'd told me you didn't love me anymore and that I'd damaged us belong repair. I wish you still wanted me, but you don't. Please, tell Claire I'm sorry for getting between you both. I really do want the world for you. I just hope you find it in your future._**

 ** _E: I'm sorry. X_**

 ** _A: Me too. I'm sorry for ever falling in love with my best friend. Because now, I have absolutely nothing._**

Sighing, I glance back, staring at Arizona's childhood home. She isn't even looking out of her window. She isn't rushing down her porch and falling into my arms. She isn't interested, because I'm an asshole. An asshole who is always going to hurt her, no matter what I say or do.

 _Who the hell says those things?_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Eleven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Two months later…_

It feels crazy being here. Mom is recovering, almost back to full health, and I'm working my ass off for the team. We have a competition coming up in a few weeks, so I'm trying to get back to full fitness after the time I had off during the Christmas break. Yes, I should've been looking after myself when I was at home, but I didn't. I had too much shit going on, and a million and one thoughts going through my mind.

The best decision I ever made…was packing up and leaving town the day Eliza showed her true colors. Why? Because now I'm on top of the world and back where I belong. Okay, I'm not quite at home, but I did make the move to Orlando. My team, they're awesome. I know some of the girls from back in high school so it's been good catching up with them, seeing the differences in their technique now that they're professional.

That day I left town, I headed straight to the medical Orlando had requested from my team back in the UK. I do miss some of the girls back in England, but we keep in touch via social media. The day Eliza came to mom's place and said those things to me, I was trying to explain that I'd been given the go ahead to talk to the coaches here. She didn't give me the chance to do that, but it worked out in the end. It worked out because by not stopping her from saying what she did, and by not telling her about my transfer, she told me how she really felt. She told me what she thought of me.

Sure, it hurt, but we move forward, right? We pick ourselves up and be the best we possibly can be, single or not. I haven't bothered dating since I returned but that's simply because I haven't had the time. Training is intense and team meetings are happening multiple times a week. I love being back in the US, but I love being on the pitch more, wherever in the world that is. There's no other feeling like it.

We have a pretty great crowd out here, but I don't see many familiar faces. Mom isn't able to drive yet, and all of my other friends moved out of the city when we left high school. I call them friends, but I guess they're not. None of them have kept in touch, and they certainly wouldn't be the first choice should I need one of them in a crisis.

Eliza contacted me once I reached Orlando for my medical two months ago, but it was short and sweet. I didn't tell her about my move here because I didn't want to hear her trying to make things right. Groveling. After the things she said, no amount of groveling could've fixed us. She apologized and asked if we could talk, but I simply told her no. I'm done ruining her life and I'm done seeing that look of disappointment she always seems to have for me. If I thought I could do this without hurting her anymore, I would, but I know how she feels about me…and I'm okay with that. I don't know how I've ever given her the impression that my soccer is more important than her, but that's her opinion. It's a fucked-up opinion, but I no longer have to concern myself with it. We're not together and we never will be again.

I think she's dating but I can't be sure. If she is, I hope she's happy. If she's fallen in love with someone, I hope they treat her right and give her everything in the world. I always wanted to be that person, but as the months have once again passed, I've come to realize that we're forever hurting each other. Me with my actions, her with her words. What good can ever come from a relationship like that? I always thought I'd be the one to spend my life with her, but things change, and so do people.

I guess I'm still kinda bitter about it all if I'm being totally honest. Not only did she say that I didn't care about her, but she blamed me for leaving. I told her I wouldn't go. I told her she only had to say the word and I'd have turned down London. She didn't, and she told me I had to leave. To throw that back in my face, while she used Claire and her words as the reason why, that hurt more than anything she's ever said or done. It hurt more than I thought it ever could.

I've been back in the US for a week, after finalizing everything in the UK, and I've settled pretty well. I have an apartment close to our training facilities and I made it my own the moment I bought it. I don't know if my ex knows I'm back home, but if she does, she hasn't contacted me. She hasn't called to congratulate me on my move, but why would she? I don't think Eliza and soccer go so well together anymore. At one time, she would've been at every game I was playing. At one time, she'd have worn a jersey, my name emblazoned across the back. At one time, she loved me…until she didn't.

"Hey! Robbins!"

"What?" Stopping dead at the side of the training pitch, I turn on my boot and focus on the team behind me.

"You coming out to dinner tonight?"

"Time?" I yell.

"Five-thirty." Becca approaches me.

"For sure." I nod. "I wanna get a few more laps in before I leave. I'll meet you guys there."

"Got it." Becca turns, running back towards the squad. "Catch you later!" Throwing me a wave, she disappears through the open doors and towards the changing room. Approaching the corner flag, I sprint behind the goal, slowing as I reach the next corner flag. I've been working myself harder than before since I reached Orlando, but I want to maintain my reputation here. Especially on home soil.

 ** _D: Can I crash with you?_**

Furrowing my brow as I glance down at my watch, I've no idea what Dana and her girlfriend are fighting about now, but it's always something. Figuring I'll reply when I'm done training, I sprint the rest of the pitch before heading inside. It's almost four-thirty in the afternoon and I need to get showered before I meet the rest of the team.

* * *

Heading out of our training facility, I fix my blazer on my body and glance down at my appearance. This evening, I'm going for the combat boots and skinny jeans look, simply because the team like to look good when they're out together. Yeah, I look kinda hot, but that may have been the look I was going for all along. I'm not dressing for anyone in particular, but I am dressing for _me_.

I know I should get out more and date, but by the time training has finished and I'm done for the day, I'm too tired to even think about sex, let alone dating. It's not that I'm holding back, I'm really not, but the only thing I have in my life is my career, and I cannot throw it away. Not when I'm in the best position I've ever been in, mentally and financially.

Taking my cell from my pocket, I pull Dana's message up on the screen and send her a reply.

 ** _A: Sure. You and the lady fighting again?_**

 ** _D: You don't know the half of it._**

 ** _A: Not my business. Got my own shit going on. You coming to dinner?_**

 ** _D: Sure, I'll be there around six. Got something to do._**

 ** _A: Well, don't do anything stupid. Catch you soon._**

Rolling my eyes, I lock my cell and head for my car. I really don't need any drama in my life, mine or anyone else's. I'm over that stage and the less I see of people fighting, the better I feel. Pulling my car keys from the side of my kit bag, I glance up and unlock it.

Stopping dead in my spot, I furrow my brow and think about turning around. Eliza is here. She's leaning against my car. _What the fuck is going on?_ About to turn around, I realize I have somewhere to be, Eliza and her words the last thing on my mind. Do I miss her? Every minute of the day. Is that enough? No. It's not enough because it doesn't change what happened between us. It doesn't change the fact that she hurt me.

"Could you move please?" I stop in front of her, her body preventing me from popping my trunk.

"You came home…"

"No, I came to Orlando." I give her a sarcastic smile. "And I have somewhere to be, so…"

"I came by all week." Eliza clears her throat. "Here…"

"Why?" My forehead creases.

"Because I wanted to see you…"

"You're wasting your time, Eliza." I sigh. "I'm here to work and that's all."

"But you came home." She looks at me confused. "You came back…"

"So?"

"So, I don't know." Her shoulders slump. "Just…so, I wanted to see you."

"Really, I need you to move your ass. I have somewhere to be and I don't like to be late."

"I know…"

"You know what?" I drop my kit bag from my shoulder.

"That you don't like to be late." She gives me a small smile. "You're never late."

"O…kay." I draw out. "Look, it's great to see you but I gotta go." I motion towards my car. "Go back to university, Eliza."

"I have some time off." She says, her voice soft. "And I thought maybe we could hang out."

"Hang out?" I deadpan. "Why would we hang out?"

"Because that's our thing…"

"No." I shake my head. "It was our thing before we got involved with each other. Now, you're you and I'm me."

"That hurts." She drops her gaze.

"Yeah, well welcome to my world." Deciding to just put my bag in the front with me, I round my car and open the driver side door. "Words hurt, Eliza. You should know that by now."

"Arizona, please don't leave…"

"Eliza, what do you want from me?" I can feel my anger getting the better of me. "Why are you here and what the hell do you want?"

"I want to spend time with you. I want to sit with you. Talk. Just…Please?"

"I'm busy." I hate how she looks at me like that. I hate how she makes me feel sympathy for her when this is all her own fault. "Look, I have some things at my place that belong to you…"

"You didn't have any of my things…"

"I did," I reply. "I'll be home by eight. If you want them, come get them. If you don't, I'll trash them."

"I-I don't know where you live."

"I'll send you my address." I climb into my car, slamming the door shut and cracking the window. "You still have the same number?"

"Yes." She nods. "In case you ever called…"

"I'll send it over." Firing up the engine, I pull away from my spot in the parking lot and head off towards the restaurant. As much as I miss her, I can't do this with her. We're wasting our time and I know deep down, Eliza realizes that. I know deep down, this is completely pointless.

* * *

Parking up outside my apartment block, I cut the engine and sit for a moment. I know Eliza is here, I can see her car a few spots away. Dinner was enjoyable, but she was on my mind. I didn't want her to be, but she knows this is what happens. I see her, and everything turns into a mess inside my head. Maybe she likes doing this to me, I don't know. Maybe she wants to just hurt me over and over, giving me a taste of what she went through when I left for London.

 ** _A: I need some time before you head over._**

 ** _D: Sure. You got a lady coming by?_**

 ** _E: Yeah, my ex and no, it isn't what you think._**

 ** _D: Not my business. I got my own shit going on._**

Smiling at Dana's reply, I shove my cell into my pocket and grab my crap from my car. Climbing out, I lock up for the evening and approach the block doors. I'm living in a high-end area of Orlando, but I couldn't resist this place. It's gorgeous with the best views in town.

Reaching the doors, a figure appears out of the shadows, Eliza's scent catching my attention immediately. This meeting with her won't last long, but I do want to give her the things I kept of hers. They're not my property, no matter how much I've worn them over the last two months. Her shorts. Her hoodies. Her oversized tee's. They're just my comfort…but it's time to give them all back.

"You coming up or did you want me to bring it down for you?"

"I don't mind…" She shifts uncomfortably. "I can come up if you'd be okay with that?"

"Whatever." I shrug. "Do what you want." Pushing the door open, I move towards the elevator and hit the call button. "It's just some clothes…"

"Oh." She clears her throat. "You really did just want me to come by and get my crap…"

"What else did you think I meant?" I turn, facing her. "I haven't seen you in two months, I'm hardly going to lure you here…"

"You didn't lose your sense of humor." Eliza smiles.

"No, but that wasn't humor." The elevator doors open and I step inside.

"Arizona…" She turns to face me as the doors close, the carriage moving. "Can I just have five minutes of your time?"

"That's what I'm giving you." I nod.

"No, I mean…to talk?"

"I really don't have anything to say to you." I give her a sad smile. "You should just collect your things and leave."

"But I can't do that." She disagrees, her forehead creasing. "Not now I've finally found you."

"Found me?"

"I told you I'd been waiting outside that place for you all week."

"And I still don't know why…" The carriage coming to a stop, the doors open and I step out, motioning towards my apartment door down the hall.

"This is fancy."

"Yeah, it is." I agree, slipping my key into the lock. "Come in…" Disappearing inside my darkened home, I flick a small lamp on and throw my bag to the floor. "I'll just get your things for you…"

"Arizona, wait." She grips my wrist, my stomach fluttering as her skin touches mine. "I know you hate me and you cannot bring yourself to share a space with me, but I'm trying to apologize here…"

"You have nothing to apologize for." I wave her off. "Seriously."

"Except I do." She scoffs, her grip tightening on my wrist. "I have so much to apologize for, but you won't give me a freaking chance."

"We're out of chances, Eliza."

"Why? Because you say so?" She snorts. "What about what I want? What I feel?"

"I know how you feel." I laugh. "You told me all about it the night you came by…"

"I was scared." Her voice breaks. "I was so fucking scared."

"About what?"

"Losing you." She sighs. "You leaving again and me not knowing the next time I'd touch you. Kiss you. Me not knowing how to survive without you."

 _I'm not sure I believe what she's saying._

I may not be sure, but her eyes are telling me something different. Her eyes…complete heartbreak. Devastation. Disappointment. Her eyes are telling me she's never been this sorry in her entire life.

"I wanted to discuss all of this with you." I breathe out, dropping down onto the couch. "When you came over and freaked out, I was trying to tell you about Orlando offering me a contract and London allowing me to leave. I'd just got off a call with them before you came to mom's place."

"I didn't know…"

"You wouldn't give me the chance to tell you." I sit forward, my head in my hands. "You wouldn't let me speak and then when you freaked, you said what you did…"

"I didn't mean any of that, Arizona." Her voice sounds sincere, but how can she say she didn't mean it? Why would she have _ever_ said those things to me if she didn't mean a word of it? "You have to believe me."

"I can't." I glance up at Eliza, unshed tears in her eyes. "I can't believe you…"

"Why not?"

"Because I only took Orlando for you…and you ruined that moment for me," I admit. "The thought of telling you, god…I was so happy. Excited for us both."

"O-Oh…"

"But then you walked in and told me Claire kissed you. You know, I wasn't even bothered about that, not really. I just wanted us to be happy, together…but you went batshit crazy and said some really hurtful things. After I'd agreed with Orlando, you told me my soccer was more important than you. I fucking moved here _for_ _you_."

"D-Do you think maybe one day you can forgive me?" Eliza wipes a tear from her jawline. "Just…one day?"

"I do forgive you." I take her hand. "But it's been two months, Eliza. We're moving on…"

"I-I'm not." She steadies her emotions. "I'm failing in my classes and I haven't slept properly since the night I spent with you."

"I'm sure you'll live."

"You're not hearing me, Arizona…" She sits opposite me, her ass resting on the edge of my coffee table. "I'm saying I can't do this without you."

"Do what?"

"Life." She lifts my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. "I can't live my life without you, Arizona."

"I think you have to try." I pull back, removing myself from Eliza's grip. "I know it's hard and it's kinda shitty, but I think that without _me_ in your life…you'll thrive. You'll be the best you possibly can be."

"Without you?" She chokes, tears falling freely from her eyes. "How can I thrive without you?"

"Because I'm your problem." I sigh. "I guess I always have been…"

"T-That's not true." She shakes her head. "You're my life…not my problem."

"So long as you go away from here tonight knowing that I took this move for you, I'll be okay. So long as you know that you were always so much more than the soccer…I can live with that."

"Arizona…"

"Let me get your things." I sigh, standing. "It's getting late and I don't like you driving alone…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Twelve

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I've been sitting outside Arizona's apartment block for the last two hours, terrified that she's about to walk out and see me. Of course, I want to see her…but I don't know what to say. I don't know where to begin with all of the apologies I feel like I have inside me. I know she doesn't care for what I have to say, and I know she made it clear two nights ago when she handed me my things back, but I still care. I still need to make amends, if that's even possible to do. I feel like it is. I feel like if I show her I'm here, wanting her, she will come back to me, but I also know that I've hurt her.

I could see that anger in her eyes when I waited for her after training, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know how to contact her or where she lived, so once I knew she was in Orlando, I had to find out where she would be. I understand that she doesn't appreciate me waiting for her like that, but at one time in our lives, it's all she would've hoped for. Me, waiting for her…going home together. Yeah, once upon a time, that would've been our life together.

I don't believe I can ever get back what we've lost but knowing she's here, just an hour drive from campus, it's been playing with my mind. Once the news broke on her old club's Twitter feed, everything changed for me again. I didn't know she'd gone back to London to finalize a deal with Orlando. I didn't know she was ever coming back here. I'd heard so little from her that I figured she'd cut me from her life, just like I once did.

Did my words really ruin us that much? Did they honestly crush whatever was left of our relationship? I went to her mom's place that night with the intention of making things okay between us, but I somehow ruined it further. I somehow lost Arizona, quite literally in the blink of an eye. I know I shouldn't have got so angry with her and I know I shouldn't have allowed my emotions to get the better of me, but I can't change that. I can apologize and try to make things right between us, but how am I supposed to do that when Arizona won't spend five minutes in the same room as me?

How am I supposed to try and repair what I've broken if she looks at me like she doesn't even know me? Yes, this is on me…and yes, I never should've brought Claire into our conversation, but what's done is done. I cannot change anything if she won't give me the time of day. I can't apologize, repeatedly, if my apologies mean nothing to her.

Watching her apartment block door open, I catch sight of her team colors, Arizona's hair thrown up in a messy bun on top of her head. She looks as gorgeous as she ever did, but I need to be closer to her. I need to wish her luck for her first game with her new team. It will probably have the reverse effect because it's coming from my mouth, but I still feel like I should speak to her. Just…say words, I don't know.

Climbing from my car, I clear my throat and follow her towards her own. She hasn't seen me, or she has and she's avoiding me, but I hope she doesn't dismiss me completely. I hope she doesn't drive away without so much as one word to me.

"Arizona!" I pick up my pace. "Hey!"

Turning, her forehead creases. "Eliza?"

"Just wanted to say good luck for your game today." I smile, weakly. "It's your first, right?"

"It is, yeah." She throws her kit bag in the trunk of her car and slams it shut. "Kinda nervous, but whatever."

"I'm sure you'll be great." I shift uncomfortably. "You always are…"

"Yeah, thanks." She drops her gaze. "I should head off." She throws her thumb over her shoulder. "Wanted to get some extra training in before the team arrives."

"You're not working yourself too hard?"

"No, I know what I can handle." She says, backing up towards her door. "See you around, yeah?"

"I, uh…I got a ticket." I clear my throat. "For your game today."

"Great, I hope you have an awesome day." Her dimples pop and my heart melts in my chest. "You got good seats?"

"I think so, yeah…" Nodding, I shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. "I picked up a jersey, too."

"Nice." She laughs, seemingly genuine.

"Well, I'll let you go." I back up. "I know how precise your routine is. Wouldn't want to mess it up."

"Yeah." She slips into her car, the door remaining open. "Thanks for coming by…"

"That's okay." I try not to blush.

As much as I want to, I don't believe Arizona would appreciate that. I know she's still mad at me, so blushing, or making her aware of the fact that I had her name put on my jersey, it seems inappropriate.

"Hey, Eliza." She calls me back as I'm about to turn around, heading for my car.

"Yeah?"

"You been looking after yourself?" She asks, concern in her eyes.

"Oh, yeah." I nod, hoping she won't notice the dark circles around my eyes that have only grown since I saw her two nights ago. "Just the usual." I shrug. "You?"

"Have to." She smiles. "No time for slacking…"

"No, I guess not." I sigh. "Good luck, yeah?"

"Thank you…"

* * *

Settled in my seat, the guy I got my ticket from really did give me the best. I have the perfect view of Arizona, but it feels strange sitting here. A stadium filled to capacity, my ex-girlfriend no longer in my life…yeah, it feels weird. Heartbreaking and weird. I don't want to dwell on it though while I'm sitting here. My emotions have been all over the place lately and I don't believe a soccer game is a place to cry.

I know once I see her running around the pitch, it will bring back a world of memories for me, but sometimes the memories are good. Even those that we made together before we admitted our feelings for one another. She's made it clear that choosing a relationship with me was the biggest mistake of her life, but it was still my greatest achievement. Even if Arizona doesn't feel the same way, I'll always hold those memories close to me. I'll always remember the happiness and love we shared, even if it was only for a short time.

Those moments were the greatest of my life and they always will be. Her smile. Her perfect breathing as she slept beside me. Her dimples and how they'd pop whenever we spent time together. It may feel like a distant memory, but they'll stay with me forever. I could never let them go. _I'll always fall asleep thinking about her_. It breaks my heart knowing I lost her for the final time, but she seems happy here. She seems to be exactly where she's supposed to be. _Without me_.

Maybe one day she will hold more than a thirty-second conversation with me, but I'm not building up my hopes. I'm not allowing myself to get into that kind of moment in my head, only for it to fall apart around me. I've had enough of hoping for something that will never happen. I've had enough of dreaming about Arizona, waking with her arms safely around me. It's only going to send me insane, and when I told her I was failing my classes, I meant it.

I really have fallen behind at university. Sure, I know I can pick myself up and rally, but it seems easier to curl up on the couch every night, crying into my pillow. It seems easier to lie in bed, thinking about her instead of sleeping. It seems easier, but why am I doing this to myself? Why am I ruining my own life, while Arizona lives hers perfectly?

It's just hard, I guess. She has her own place, one that she's made her own. Me? I have the place we were supposed to build a life together. I sleep in the bed that we shared, endless nights of making love forever on my mind, every time I slip inside it. I have the memories I _don't_ want to hold onto in that apartment, but Arizona got the clean break.

She deserves this, though. She deserves all of the accolade and the praise for her abilities as a soccer player. She's not one of the best in the states for no reason. She's got herself there with hard work and determination, and I'll always be proud of her for that. I'll always cheer her on, whether she hates me or not.

The sound of the crowd roaring as the players are introduced to the pitch, I sit back in my seat and hope that this game is over swiftly. Right now, I need to go home and sleep. Right now, I feel like I shouldn't be here.

* * *

Sitting in the same seat I have been for almost two hours, the crowd around me has filtered out of the stadium, but my body remains in place. I know I should leave, but I don't want to. Arizona had one hell of a game tonight, scoring two goals on her debut for the team. I know Orlando is going to love her, after all, she's hard _not_ to love.

She's been training alone for ten minutes or so, but then she disappeared back inside. I'm sure she has things going on with the rest of the team, so I'll spend another five minutes here and then I'm headed home. Alone. To my lonely, cold apartment. I know this is all on me, but it still fucking sucks.

My cell buzzing in my pocket, I furrow my brow and remove it. Mom's name flashing on my screen, a small smile curls on my mouth and I hit the accept tab.

"Hey, mom."

"Eliza, where are you?" She asks. "I haven't heard from you all day."

"I was at Arizona's soccer game…"

"Oh."

"No, mom." I roll my eyes. "Not, oh."

"It's good that you went though, no?" Mom tries to dig deeper, but I genuinely have nothing to give her.

"Sure, yeah." I agree. "Arizona had an awesome game and now I'm headed out of the stadium and home…"

"The game finished a while ago…"

"So?" I furrow my brow.

"So, why are you still there?" She asks.

"Figured I'd hang back until the crowd had settled down. No use sitting in traffic."

"No, I guess you're right." Mom sighs. "Well, I was just checking in. Have a safe trip home, honey."

"Thanks, mom. I love you…"

"I love you, too…"

Our call ending, I grab my empty soda container from the floor beside me and stand. My jacket resting over my arm, I check the floor for anything else I may have left before making my way towards the exit.

"You're still here…" Arizona's voice startles me as I focus on my footing.

"Y-Yeah." I glance up, unsure if she's pissed off. "Sorry, I was just leaving."

"Why are you apologizing?" She asks, her forehead creasing.

"Because your game ended a while ago and I'm still sitting here like some fucking stalker." Annoyed that she's caught me here, I shrug my jacket over my shoulders and straighten myself out.

"You got my name on your jersey…"

"Yeah, sorry about that, too." I give her a false smile. "Great game today, see you." Stepping past Arizona, being so close to her leaves me feeling dizzy. Our bodies brushing one another, I try to maintain some kind of composure but it's a struggle.

"Eliza…"

"Mm?" I turn back, facing Arizona fully.

"Thanks for coming." She gives me a sad smile. "I appreciate it."

"I'm sure you didn't even realize I was here…"

"I don't have anyone else here supporting me." She clears her throat. "It means a lot."

"But not enough, right?" A slight laugh falling from my mouth, I can't do this anymore. I can't do anything anymore. I'm fucking up my life at university, and I fucked up my life with Arizona a long time ago. What's the point anymore? Why bother sticking around when nothing ever plans out how it's supposed to? Really, I'm done with this shit. I'm done with everything.

"You know, I was thinking of catching a movie tonight."

"Great, enjoy." I turn to leave.

"Did you want to join me?" Arizona asks, her voice low and unsure.

"Oh, no thanks." I give her an appreciative smile. "I have plans…"

"Oh." Her eyes widen. "I'm sorry." She backtracks. "Good night ahead for you then?"

"For me? No." I shake my head, laughing. "For everyone else? Yeah…the greatest night of their lives."

"Okay, you've lost me." She gives me a look of confusion.

"I know…that happened a long time ago." Stepping up to my ex-girlfriend, I study her face, taking in those beautiful features I miss every day. Lifting her hand, my thumb runs across her knuckles, the softness of her skin sending a shiver down my spine.

"Eliza, what's going on?"

"Just…thank you." I give her a full smile. "For being everything, I _ever_ needed in my life." Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, my lips linger longer than appropriate. "I know we're beyond repair, but I _am_ sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you."

"Eliza, it's no big deal."

"It is to me…" I squeeze Arizona's hand, my lips pressing against her skin once more. "It is to me, and I'll always regret everything I said to you." One final caress of her skin, I drop her hand and it falls beside her waist. "So, I'm letting you go. I'm letting us go. One final time. No more hurting each other…"

"I-I…"

"Goodbye, Arizona." Wrapping my arms around my ex-girlfriend, my face somehow finds her neck, inhaling her soft scent that I could never mistake for another person's. Pressing my lips to her skin, a tear slips from my eye. "I'll always love you, remember that."

I pull back and out of her embrace. "Eliza, wait!"

"I can't." I give her a full smile. "I have plans."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Thirteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been home from my game for an hour or so, but something doesn't feel right. How Eliza left the stadium, I feel uncomfortable about it. I don't know why, and I'm sure it's nothing, but I don't like how she left. I don't like the things she said to me. I've been playing over it in my mind and each time, I come back to feeling uneasy. Unsettled. Like, something is wrong.

Of course, everything is wrong. We're not together and we're very much detached from one another's lives, but that's not the kind of wrong I'm talking about. It was something in her voice. A determination. A fear. A…peace. There was something in her eyes telling me that I _should_ be worried. That I _should_ follow her. I mean, I know she wouldn't ever do anything to hurt herself, but I don't know what's been happening in her life lately. We haven't spoken for two months, so I don't know how she's feeling.

Is she down? Feeling low? Does she need someone to talk to? I know I'm not that person for her, but that's only because I made myself that way. That's only because we're not together anymore.

Checking my watch, she should be home by now, so maybe I could call her. You know, check that she got home safely? Hitting her contact information on the screen of my cell, I lean back against my kitchen counter, waiting for my call to connect.

 _Nothing…_

Something settling inside me, I push off the counter and pull a pair of sneakers on. If I just head to her place, I'm sure she will put my mind at rest. I mean, she could've got caught up in traffic. She could've detoured for her plans this evening. She could be at the gas station. She could be doing anything, but she could also be hurt. Injured. Causing herself pain. It's not something Eliza would _ever_ do, but my mind won't settle until I go to her apartment and see her with my own eyes. Talk to her.

When I met her at the stadium after the game, I wanted to talk to her. I didn't necessarily want to work things out, but I did want to spend some time with her. She's alone at university, and I'm alone here in Orlando. We're only an hour drive from one another, less when the roads are quiet, so we don't really have a reason to completely dismiss one another. At least, that's the realization I've come to.

She may feel differently and judging by her words earlier…that's exactly how she feels, but I could still suggest it to her. I could still offer my friendship, helping us both live our lives out here. She will probably blow me off now that she's let our relationship go, but I still feel like I should try. I still love her, but I'm scared about our future. It seems no matter what we do, it falls apart, so yeah…naturally, I'm terrified about a future with Eliza.

I always imagined us growing old together. Married, with kids. I always imagined vacations and adventures together, settling down when we reached thirty, starting a family. We never really discussed it at length, but I know Eliza well enough to know that she wants kids and marriage, too. I know her well enough to know that our futures looked the same.

Trying her cell one more time, I get nothing again. I'm sure everything is fine and I'm sure she's preparing for whatever plans she has, but I need to leave right now. If I don't, I'm going to go crazy. Insane.

 ** _A: So, I wasn't happy with your talk before. I'm on my way over. Please, open the door to me. X_**

Releasing a deep breath, I shove my cell into the back pocket of my jeans, pulling a hoodie over my shoulders, I could really use a bath with my usual stuff in it, but it can wait. If I'm stiff tomorrow, then so be it. Eliza isn't herself and I need to know why.

* * *

Reaching the apartment I once shared with my ex-girlfriend, my heart sinks when I'm reminded of the times we had here. Yes, it was shorter than I would've liked, but I'm over laying the blame here. We both agreed that I'd leave, and that's all there is to it. I didn't want to go, and I know deep down, Eliza didn't want me to go either. Somewhere along the way, miscommunication came into play, totally fucking us both over.

If I could change everything, I would. In a heartbeat, I completely would. I believe Eliza knows that deep down, but we're both too stubborn for our own good. I didn't say what I did to her two night ago to punish her, I said it because I do truly believe that she would be better off without me.

Is it that simple, though? If we both love each other, is it as simple as just going our separate ways because it seems more convenient to do so? I don't think it is and that's why I took Orlando. That's why I jumped at the opportunity…so I could be with her, here.

I didn't know she was going to come to mom's place and say the things she did, but when that happened, it totally threw me. It confused me and I didn't know what to think anymore. I had the name Claire being thrown around the conversation, and I had Eliza asking me if I ever thought she _wouldn't_ be second best. I was shocked and totally thrown.

Climbing from my car, Eliza's car is parked up in its usual spot…mine sitting empty beside it. Heading straight for the block door, I use the key I still have from when I lived here. Eliza may not appreciate me using it, but I'm worried so her being pissed at me is the last thing on my mind.

Deciding to take the stairs, I climb them two at a time, reaching my old floor quicker than I thought I would. My body is beginning to feel today's activities, but I'm good. I'm more than good where my health, my fitness, is concerned.

Coming face to face with the door I once lived behind, I knock gently, hearing no movement whatsoever. I don't know why I've got this bad feeling but I have. I have and I need to get inside. I have to see Eliza, knowing she's okay.

"Eliza!" Banging louder, my hands clenched into fists, I pound the wood but still, I'm getting nothing. "Eliza!"

Taking my keys from my pocket again, I rummage through them until I find the one that will open this door. I've never been more thankful for holding onto them as I am right now. Turning it in the lock, the door opens and an eery silence surrounds me.

"E-Eliza?" My heart sinking, something feels off. Something feels fucking awful inside me. "You here?"

 _Nothing..._

Heading straight for the bedroom, the door is cracked open but I'm scared for what I'm about to find. I know she's here, I can feel it. I can feel her presence, her gorgeous scent all I can smell.

"Eliza?" My heart pounding hard in my chest, I push the door open, my eyes filling with unshed tears at the image in front of me. Eliza. Face down on her bed. "Oh, fuck!"

Dropping to my knees beside her, I immediately check for a pulse, thankful when I find one. I don't know what she's done to herself or if she's taken anything but she's barely conscious. Eyeing a bottle of half drunk vodka on the nightstand, I try to wake her but she's giving me nothing.

"Eliza, please wake up." Taking my cell, my hand never leaving her body, I call 911, praying that someone will come and help her.

"Beautiful?" My lips pressing against the side of her head, tears fall down my face. I feel helpless. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. "Baby, I need you to wake up..."

Putting her body in the recovery position as best as I can, I've never felt so heartbroken in my life. All the things we've been through, this has to be the most devastating. Not only has she hurt herself intentionally, but she's done it because of me. Because of us. What kind of person does that make me? How am I ever supposed to apologize for this? The way she looks right now, I won't have the opportunity to apologize. If the paramedics don't move their ass, she'll be dead.

"Eliza..." Finding a box of sleeping pills beside the bed on the floor, I check the pack, unsure of how many have been taken. She told me she hasn't been sleeping. She told me she couldn't live without me. This is all my fault and knowing that, it's making me want to throw up. "Eliza, I love you..." Brushing her hair from her face, I don't know what else to do other than talk to her. "Please, wake up. I love you and I need you."

 _Nothing..._

* * *

I've been at the hospital for three hours and my mind is in overdrive. Eliza's mom is on her way to Florida, and thankfully, she's going to be okay. She's going to live. That doesn't change how I feel though. It doesn't change the fact that she did this because of me. Because of the situation we found ourselves in. This wasn't an attempt to catch my attention, no. This was an attempt to take her own life.

This was brought on by our fighting. Our animosity. Me. I know I shouldn't blame myself for all of this, but it's hard not to when your ex-girlfriend is lying in a hospital bed, her stomach pumped of the shit she'd put in it.

"Arizona?" Glancing up, I find Mrs. Minnick standing in front of me, a look of worry in her eyes. "Where is she?"

"In there." I point towards Eliza's room. "I'll leave." I stand. "I just wanted to be here so she didn't wake up alone..."

"She hasn't woken up yet?"

"She has but it was when I wasn't in there. The doctor was with her."

"What happened?"

"I-I don't know." My voice breaks. "She came to my game today. I wanted to talk to her when it ended but she said she had plans. That she had to leave and she wouldn't try for us anymore."

"Can you blame her?" Mrs. Minnick raises her eyebrow. "You two are forever hurting each other."

"I know." I drop my gaze. "I just...I'll leave."

"I think that would be for the best." Eliza's mom agrees."You know I'm very fond of you, Arizona, but I have to put my daughter first."

"I understand that." My lip trembles. "I didn't want this to happen." A tear slips down my face. "She means the world to me..."

"Well, you have a funny way of showing that." Turning, I'm left standing alone as Mrs. Minnick disappears inside Eliza's room.

Dropping down into the seat behind me, I need a moment before I leave this place. I want nothing more than to be here with her, but I can't. I can't because her mom hates me, and my own hatred for myself is beginning to seep through. I want to know that she's going to be okay, but I'm not sure I have any right to ask. I'm not sure I have the right to still be sitting here. I mean, she probably doesn't want to see me. She probably hates me for going to her place and finding her. For helping her. For preventing what she was trying to do. I shouldn't be here, I know that, but I'm struggling to leave.

Standing, I run my hands down my thighs and release a deep breath. Pulling my hoodie around me tighter, I slip my cell into my pocket and slowly head down the corridor I've been sitting in for what feels like forever. If Eliza ever wants or needs to talk to me, I'll be there in a heartbeat, but I don't ever expect that to happen. If Mrs. Minnick has her way, I'll never see her daughter again.

Brushing a stray tear from my jawline, I straighten out my shoulders, continuing down the corridor.

"Arizona!" Turning, I find Eliza's mom standing outside her room.

"Yeah?"

"She's asking for you..."

"Oh, uh..." I clear my throat. "I'd love to be there but you said it yourself...it's best if I leave."

"Eliza wants you..." Her voice cold towards me, she approaches me. "I'm going to get coffee."

"Mrs. Minnick." I sigh. "I never wanted her to hurt herself. I never wanted this to happen to her. I need you to believe that."

"I know you didn't." Her features soften slightly. "But this is still a mess and I think she would be a fool to keep hanging on, waiting for you to decide what you want."

"It was never about not wanting her." I furrow my brow. "I don't know what she's told you, and I know you've probably lost all respect you had for me, but Eliza said some really hurtful things to me."

"I'm sure she did." Eliza's mom nods."But she's lying in a bed after trying to take her own life, Arizona. My only child...almost died."

"I know." My emotions get the better of me. "I was coming home," I say. "The day she came by and said the things she did, I was trying to tell her I was coming home. That I'd taken a move to be here with her."

"Then you should go and be with her." She steps past me. "I'll give you both some time alone."

Simply nodding, I know Mrs. Minnick has taken a disliking to me. I don't blame her but I also feel like this isn't all on me. I don't know what Eliza wants to say to me, but I should probably hear her out and then leave...before her mom has me removed from the hospital via security.

Heading back down the corridor I've just come from, Eliza's room door is open but I'm scared to go inside. I'm scared for what she's going to say, how she's feeling. I'm scared about all of this.

"H-Hi." I step inside, Eliza's eyes on mine. "How are you feeling?"

"Embarrassed." She replies. "Ridiculous..."

"But you're feeling okay?" I close the door, approaching the side of her bed. "I mean, as good as you can be..."

"Guess so, yeah." Turning her head away from me, my forehead creases. "I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?" I ask, talking to the side of her face.

"Seeing me that way." She closes her eyes. "Ruining your evening..."

"So long as you're okay..." I attempt to take her hand but she pulls away. "Eliza."

"Don't, Arizona." Her voice breaks. "I don't want your sympathy and I don't want you to waste any more time here..."

"I thought I was going to lose you."

"You can't lose what wasn't there..." She glances my way, giving me a sad smile. "We lost each other a long time ago..."

"We need to talk." I lower the rail on her bed, taking a seat on the edge. "We really need to talk..."

"No, we don't." She disagrees. "I didn't do this, hoping you would still love me and take me back..."

"Why did you do it?"

"Because it's pointless being here...living my shitty existence alone every day."

"Eliza..." I take her hand, lifting it and pressing a kiss to her skin. "I know everything is a mess, and I know your mom hates me, but you're my concern. You are the only thing that matters in my life..."

"You told me I had to try and live my life without you."

"Because I believed I was the problem," I say. "Not because I don't love you."

"You've never been a problem, Arizona." Her eyes find mine fully. "But all of this, what we've become, it can never be repaired...I understand that."

"I believe it can." I counter. "I believe that now is the time to try...properly."

"Your career is unpredictable..."

"If one day, Orlando decide they don't want me anymore, I'll give the whole thing up. If it means you and I are happy, I'll work at the local store."

"No, you won't."

"If it meant I'd come home to you every night...I totally would."

"You don't mean that." Eliza gives me a half smile. "But thank you for trying to make me feel better." She squeezes my hand, releasing it.

"I mean it," I say, standing. "I mean it like never before..."

"Why do we keep hurting each other?"

"Because we love each other..." Leaning in, I press my lips to Eliza's forehead. "Take some time to think about what you want. If you want me with you, say the word and I'll be here in a heartbeat."

"I miss you so much, Arizona..."

"I miss you, too," I whisper. "I'm sorry I didn't try harder..."

"This isn't all on you."

"One day..." My heart skips a beat. "One day, I'm going to marry you and make you mine forever, Eliza."

"Yeah?" Tears slip down her face.

"Hell, yeah." I smile. "When you're ready...I'll be waiting for you."

"When I'm ready?"

"When you're ready for us again," I say. "Wherever you wanna be...I'll be there, I'm ready."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Best For Last: PT II**

* * *

Fourteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I feel awful. Not only for the things I did, but because Arizona saw it. She saved me, basically. Right now, I'm thankful she did...but two nights ago, when I left her at the stadium, I wanted to end all of this. I wanted to sleep and never wake up. It seemed like the easiest option. It seemed like being out of it was the best way to forget about what we once shared.

 _Death, it seemed appropriate._

I know I was a fool to do what I did, but it didn't matter. The people around me, they didn't matter. Mom is sick of hearing about my relationship and Arizona didn't want me. She was cold. Void. Nothing I said was registering with her and I didn't see a reason to remain in this world, regardless of who it hurt. I know it's selfish and I know that's not me, but I was so freaking tired of trying to piece my life back together that I was done. Totally. Completely. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

I've been invited over to Arizona's place this evening but I'm unsure if I should go. I don't know what she wants to talk about, and even though she said those things to me at the hospital, I know it was her emotions talking. Her fear. I know she only said that stuff to make me happy in that moment. I appreciate that, but it's not what I need. I know we can never be together again, so tonight...when I go there, I need her to just be honest with me. I need her to admit that she's no longer in love with me so I can move forward.

I don't know how I'm supposed to do that, but I know now that I have to try. I know that my own life is just as important as hers but I hope we can be friends. I may miss her being my entire world, but we had the most amazing friendship before I ruined it. Before I told her I had feelings for her. She said it was a mistake doing that and I'm beginning to agree with her. If I've missed one thing about Arizona, it's her constant friendship. Her support. I've missed it more than I care to admit.

My cell buzzing on the kitchen counter, I glance down and find her name flashing on the screen. Mom isn't happy that I'm visiting my ex-girlfriend tonight but I need answers. I need to resolve whatever the hell we used to be.

"Hello?"

"Eliza, hi." Arizona sounds nervous. "Just checking in with you."

"Oh, uh...okay."

"You still headed over to my place tonight?" She asks.

"I think so, yeah." I watch the bedroom door that my mom is behind. I've told her to head back home but there was no chance of that happening. I love her, but she's suffocating at times.

"I mean, I'd love to see you...but if you don't feel like doing this tonight, that's okay. I understand."

"I just...mom doesn't like it."

"No, I don't imagine she does." Arizona sighs. "She hates me, doesn't she?"

"She's just worried about me..."

"Because of me." She scoffs. "Look, don't worry about tonight," Arizona says. "I'll grab an early night. I have to train tomorrow. Just...relax, okay?"

"You don't want me to come over?"

"I'd love you to be here...but I know it's not that simple." Arizona breathes out. "I don't want your mom to be mad at you for spending time with me. I get that."

"Right, yeah."

"If you ever wanna meet, just call me." She replies. "I know your mom isn't okay with any of this, and I hate that she hates me, but you guys are close and I've caused enough trouble. I don't want to cause anymore..."

"Should I call you later?" I ask, suddenly desperately wanting to see my ex.

"Sure. If you need to call me, that's no problem." I know she's smiling, I can feel it. "Whatever you need, okay?"

"Thanks, Arizona."

Ending our call, I set my cell down on the kitchen counter and pull myself up onto a stool. I want to know how moms feeling about this, but I don't want it to blow up into a fight. I know she means well...but the fact remains, I want to see Arizona.

My head placed in my hands, I can feel tears pricking my eyes. I don't want or need them to fall but since I left the hospital, they happen when I least expect them to. They happen, and I can't stop them.

"Eliza?"

"Hey, mom." I glance up, finding worry in her eyes. "You okay?"

"I heard your call..."

"So?" My brow furrows. "It was just Arizona."

"Mm, and now you're upset." Her eyebrow arches. "What did she say this time?"

"Huh?" I give mom a look of confusion. "She just asked if I was still going by tonight."

"And are you?"

"I want to." I nod. "But she's under the impression that you hate her..."

"I don't hate her." Mom disagrees, joining me at the counter. "I don't like what's going on, but I don't hate her."

"I have to figure this out for myself, mom." Taking her hand, I squeeze it. "I have to go there tonight and end this once and for all."

"Look how that turned out last time..."

"I'm okay, I promise you..." My voice holds nothing but honesty. "It's time for us to let one another go..."

"What about the things she said to you at the hospital?"

"They were sweet, but I'm not sure she meant it." I give mom a sad smile. "She was scared, too. When she came by my room...she was scared and I get that."

"You're really ready to let her go?"

"I'll never be ready to let Arizona go..." My heart feels heavy in my chest. "But it's the right thing to do. For both of us..."

* * *

Taking the elevator to Arizona's apartment, it stops on the floor I require but I feel okay. I don't feel as nervous as I did when I left my place over an hour ago. Mom offered to come with me but I declined. I need to do this alone and I don't need her to sit waiting for me in her car. If she does that, I'll only feel the pressure to get this over and done with.

Yes, I know this night isn't going to end well, but that doesn't mean we can't spend some time together. That doesn't mean we can't share dinner and just talk about everything and anything.

Approaching Arizona's door, I knock gently, waiting for her to answer. I can hear movement and soft music playing inside, but I'm trying to keep my cool. If she opens the door looking gorgeous, I'll crumble...I know I will.

"Hi." Her door opens. "I didn't expect you to show..."

"Me neither," I admit. "Is it okay that I came?"

"Of course, yeah." Arizona nods, stepping aside. "I made dinner but figured I'd use it through the week..."

"You made dinner..." A smile curls on my mouth, my back to Arizona as I head inside. "That's sweet."

"Figured you wouldn't have eaten if you showed..."

"Arizona..." I clear my throat, turning to face her.

"Yeah?" Her dimples pop, that beaming smile has me weak at the knees. "You okay?"

"What are you expecting this evening?"

"Just...us." She blushes, shrugging. "Why? Did you have something in mind?"

"I-I guess so, yeah." I give her a sad smile. "I came by to say goodbye to you..."

"O-Oh." Her head drops between her shoulders. "Are you going someplace?"

"No, I just think it's for the best," I say. "I think we need a fresh start."

"Right, yeah." She doesn't look at me. "If that's what you want."

"Hey..." I approach her. "I understand, okay?"

"Understand what?" Arizona furrows her brow.

"That stuff you said at the hospital..." I smile, reminding myself of her half proposal. "I know it was said in the heat of the moment. I know you just wanted me to feel good..."

"N-No." She shakes her head. "That isn't what happened."

"Arizona..."

"If we can't be together, okay...but please, you have to believe that I meant what I said."

"What are you expecting from me?"

"Right now? Nothing." She admits. "I figured we could hang out here for the weekend and then through the week, I'd stay at your place."

Okay, I didn't expect that. I didn't expect any of this. Of course, I'd love nothing more...but is it really that simple? Can we honestly just start again? I thought we could, at one time, but a lot has happened.

"You really want that?"

"More than anything..." She closes the distance between us. "Those things I said to you...I meant every word."

"Wow..."

"I don't expect us to just be okay, but I think we should try." She smiles, her fingertips grazing mine. "I'm never leaving again, Eliza. I'm never leaving you..."

"Don't say that." I drop my gaze. "We know that isn't true."

"Oh, it is..." Curling her fingers under my chin, she lifts my head. "I almost lost you, forever. I can't go through that again."

"I didn't think you'd care..."

"If only you knew just how much I care about you..." Her voice breaks, those soft pink lips just millimeters from mine. "I didn't invite you here with the intention of us just being friends...but if that's what you want, that's okay."

"Arizona..." My eyes close, her forehead pressing against mine.

"Talk to me, Eliza." She whispers, her breath tickling my lips. "Tell me what you want."

"I only ever wanted you..."

"I'm here." She says. "I'm here and I'm never leaving again..."

"I want to ask you to promise me that, but I wouldn't do that to you."

"Ask me..." She says. "Ask me to promise you." Her lips brushing mine, I stumble back a little.

"I-I can't."

"Ask me, Eliza." My body pressed against the wall, Arizona is all I can feel. "I really need you to ask me..."

"Promise me…" I say. "Promise me you'll never leave again…"

"I promise." She replies, certainty in her voice. "I promise I'm never leaving again..." Those lips pressing against mine, my body melts into the wall, Arizona's soft hands finding the skin beneath my shirt. Placed against my stomach, they settle, my heart beating as it should be. "I can't ever lose you again."

"Y-You'd really never leave me?"

"You know I never wanted to." Her lips press against mine, hard. "You know this was a total lack of communication."

"You came home for me..." My voice breaks, tears slipping down my face.

"I came home for you." She smiles against my mouth. "I always knew I would."

"Oh god." Pushing her away from the wall, I guide her towards what I assume is her bedroom, kicking the door open as I reach it. "In here?"

"Wherever you wanna be..." She mumbles against my lips. "So long as it's with me, I don't care."

"Arizona..." I pull back when her knees connect with the bed. "You're serious, right?"

"I'd never lie to you..." She captures my lips, moaning into my mouth. "This is our time. Right now."

"I love you..."

"Not as much as I love you." She says, her lips trailing my jawline. "I need you to stay the night." She suggests, breathlessly. "I need you here with me, Eliza."

"Please, don't ever let me go..." Pushing Arizona down onto her bed, I fall down on top of her, our bodies connecting. "This...God, it's all I've needed."

"I know." She runs her thumb across my cheek as I pull back, studying her face. "I want you here, okay?" She leans up, taking my bottom lip between her teeth. "God, I need you here..."

"I'm sorry..." I whimper, Arizona's hand grazing my breast. "For doing what I did...I'm so sorry."

"I need you to never do that again." Her voice cracks, emotion pouring from her entire body. "Don't ever scare me like that again…"

"Arizona…" My breath catching as my bra suddenly loosens around my back, this is happening. Intimacy. Love…with Arizona. "Oh, god." She tugs my shirt from my body, my bra following.

"I'm never leaving you…" She pulls me in by the back of the neck. "N-Never." Taking my lips hard, her tongue slips inside my mouth. Everything about this moment is all I've craved since Arizona left two months ago. I know I should be wary, but I can't. I can't because her words have never seemed more genuine. Her eyes, they're holding complete honesty. "You know I love you, Eliza."

"I love you, too." Lifting Arizona's tee from her body, she falls back on the mattress again, her gorgeous breasts on view for me. Dipping my head, I take a nipple between my teeth, sucking just how I know she likes it. That perfect pressure. "God, I've missed this." The flat of my tongue teases the hardened bud. "I've missed you…"

"E-Eliza." She moans, my head spinning. "I need you to touch me." Pushing my hand past the waistband of her shorts, I find nothing covering her sex other than slick arousal. "Fuck." My fingertips pressing against her throbbing center, Arizona's back arches and I settle between her legs. "Shit."

"So good…" My voice breaks.

"Mm…" Her head buried deeper into the pillow, Arizona's hips lift as I slip her shorts from her body. "Y-Yes."

Pushing two fingers deep inside her, all breath leaves her body. I could watch her writhing beneath me every moment of my life, but something about this feels different. I don't know what, but it feels good. It feels like she's genuinely here forever. Never to leave again.

"Eliza, I can't." She whimpers, her walls throbbing around my fingers. "Fuck, I'm coming…"

"Shit." Taking my bottom lip between my teeth, I watch on in delight, feeling love for the first time in a long time. Arizona will always have a remarkable effect on my body, but this is intense. Watching her come undone before me, it's turning me into an emotional wreck.

"O-Oh." Her body shaking, her thighs close around my hand, her breathing erratic. "Jesus Christ."

Climbing back up her body, Arizona holds me close as I slip out of her, her throbbing walls almost forcing me out. Burying my face in the crook of her neck, tears fall from my eyes, Arizona's joining mine. "Arizona…" I whimper.

"Eliza…" She cries.

"Never again," I say as she holds me tighter.

"Forever…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Best for Last: Pt II**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Forcing my eyes open, my forehead creases as I sit up on my elbows. Last night, I came to Arizona's place with the intention of leaving her one final time. But this morning, I've woken in her bed, wearing her clothes, just like it used to be. To say I'm overwhelmed would be an understatement, so I just need a moment to catch my breath and realize that this is actually happening. That I'm here. With her. Where I've always dreamed I would be. Slowly lying back down, my eyes focus on the ceiling above me, Arizona's scent enveloping me and keeping me safe. She's not beside me, but I know she's here. I can feel her. All over me, actually.

Sitting upright, I shift back against the headboard and glance around her bedroom. It's typical Arizona. Trinkets and bits and pieces are scattered across her dresser, and her impressive sneaker collection is on show along the far wall. Smiling, my body relaxes into the mattress, the sound of movement outside the door catching my attention.

"Eliza?" Her soft voice, the one I've dreamed about, calls out gently. "Sorry to wake you…"

"It's okay." I clear my throat as the door opens. "I'm awake."

"Hey, good morning." Arizona closes the distance, coffee in her hands. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay, I think." I smile weakly. "Adjusting, right now."

"Adjusting?" Arizona takes a seat on the edge of the bed beside me.

"Being here. With you." I take a cup of coffee from her. "You know…"

"Yeah." She drops her eyes. "Sorry."

"So?" I breathe out. "This place is great."

"Small talk." Arizona laughs, nodding ever so slightly. "We're taking up small talk."

"I don't know what else to say," I admit. "I didn't think I'd be here this morning."

"No, me neither." She agrees. "Perhaps we should have this conversation another time?" I appreciate that she's just as stumped as I am, but I don't know how to even begin this conversation. Whatever it may be. "I have to train today and I'm sure you have things to do, too."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I'll be finished by midday." Her eyes focus on mine, the soft blue calming me like it always did. "I don't know what your plans are, but if you're free…I'd like to see you."

"I'll see what I have to do when I get back to my place."

"Yeah, okay." Arizona stands, unsure of her next move. "I'll get out of your way, okay?"

"Wait." I sigh, setting my cup down on the nightstand. "I'm sorry." Standing, I take her hand in my own and release a deep breath. "I'd love to see you this evening."

"Yeah?"

"More than anything." There is no use tiptoeing around. Not when she is here and willing to make a go of this. "Just…call me when you're done training for the day. I'll only be at my apartment."

"Your apartment." She gives me a sad smile. "You remember when it was ours?"

"I do." I nod, glancing out of the window, our hands still entwined. "I remember every moment I had you there with me. Every memory."

"You think maybe one day we will go back to that?" She follows my line of sight, moving closer to me. "You think one day everything will be okay again?"

"I hope so."

"I meant everything I said to you last night, Eliza." Arizona turns back to face me. "When I told you that I would end my career for you, I meant it."

"I don't want it to come to that."

"Me neither, but it could. It's a very real possibility."

"And we will face that if or when the time comes." I know she's just as worried as I am, but there is no use thinking too hard about it now. She's only just signed with her new team, so I know I have her for at least a year. After that year, if things change, we will tackle it then. I could be in a different position myself, I don't know.

"I'm not sure that's the right way to go about all of this, but okay."

"You don't think I believe the things you said, do you?" I ask, giving Arizona a sad smile. "You can be honest with me."

"No, I don't." She admits. "I'm scared, Eliza." Her voice breaking, it shocks me to see her like this. "Y-You tried to end your life and none of this, what we've become, is okay."

"I'm sorry." My arm wraps around her waist. "For scaring you like that. For ever thinking about doing what I did. It was selfish."

"You really wanted to end it all?" Arizona looks at me with a sadness I've never witnessed before. "You really wanted to leave me? I'd never have seen you again."

"I was in a bad place." My eyes close, desperately trying to hold off on the tears I can feel forming. "I never wanted to leave you."

"I-If you'd succeeded…if what you'd done had worked and I hadn't found you." Her body weakens, her knees, too. "Oh, god." Stumbling back against the bed, Arizona drops down to the mattress, sobs taking over her body. "If you'd died, Eliza…"

"Hey, don't." I drop down beside Arizona, pressing a kiss to her head as she leans against me, holding me close. "It's over, and I'm okay."

"I just…" Her body shakes, the tears falling hard and fast. "I need you to never do something like that again. I'd never survive losing you, Eliza."

"I'm here, okay." Arizona lifts her head and I take her face in both hands. "I'm here."

"Yes." She whispers, those blue eyes closing. "Yes, you are."

"Tonight, come to my place and we will talk…"

"I'd like that." She agrees, nodding her head but her eyes remaining closed. "Anything with you…"

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

 _She's okay. She's good._ Scoffing as I climb from my car, I know that couldn't be further from the truth. I know that even though Eliza tells me she's okay, she can't possibly be. How can someone try to end their life, only to be okay the next day? I know it was a cry for help, and I'm thankful that she's here, but I'm not sure she's totally okay. Hell, even I don't feel okay about it all, so I find it hard to believe that she is.

Entering the block, I take the elevator up to the apartment, my hands clammy. I don't know what this evening will involve, but I feel less anxious about it all than I did this morning at my place. Waking beside her felt like a dream, but it always did feel that way. It always did feel like complete euphoria. _This has to be our time. I can never let her down again._ I always knew I loved Eliza, but school and careers got in the way when I promised myself they wouldn't. When I went to London, I should've fought. I should've come home and gave her whatever she needed. It's just soccer. It's just me, kicking a ball around a pitch. Was that all really more important than the love of my life? I can say with complete certainty, from this moment on, that it's not and never will be again.

Releasing a deep breath as I step out onto Eliza's corridor, the light is shining beneath her door. The last time I was here, she was unconscious. She was attempting to end her life. The last time I was here, I thought I was going to lose her. Never to see her again. Our lasting memory, _fighting_. Stopping, I remove those thoughts from my mind and shake the anxiety from my body. Feeling like this isn't going to do either of us any favors, so I need to get myself out of this mindset and just enjoy my evening with Eliza.

Taking one final deep breath, I clear my throat and knock on the door separating us. Hearing movement, a relief settles inside me. "Arizona."

 _Oh, no…_

"M-Mrs. Minnick." My stomach somersaults. "Hi."

"Eliza said you were coming by." She says, her voice holding nothing for me.

"Yes, but I can leave." I back up. "I'm interrupting. Just…could you tell her I came by?"

"Maybe you could tell her yourself?" Eliza's mom arches an eyebrow. "Unless you plan to run out again?"

"N-No." My brow furrowed, I can't believe how things have turned out between us. At one time, her mom would've moved heaven and earth for me…but now, now she can't look at me. "Maybe I should come back another time. I'm sorry." Turning on my heel, tears prick my eyes and my heart sinks into my stomach. Eliza's mom is never going to allow this. I know she doesn't technically have a say in our relationship, but she and Eliza are super close, and I know she will agree with her mom.

"Arizona, wait!" Eliza's voice pierces through the silence of the corridor, causing me to stop dead. "Hey…" She grips my wrist from behind, turning me around. "I'm sorry about that."

"No, your mom is right." I give her a sad smile, wiping a tear from my jawline. "When you've spoken to her, call me. Whatever you both decide between you. I won't be mad."

"This is my life, not my mom's." Something in Eliza's voice has changed. A certainty. A determination for the both of us. "She can be as mad as she wants to be, but she isn't going to push you away. I won't let her."

"Eliza." I lace our fingers, stepping closer to her. "You know I love you and you know I want what's best for you. Your mom doesn't believe that's me, and to some extent, I can understand why."

"I can't." She says. "Please, come inside."

"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea." I shake my head, a slight laugh falling from my mouth. "I'll happily come back when we can be alone, though."

"She's leaving." Eliza tugs me down the corridor and inside her apartment. "Mom, I've got this."

"I don't understand, Eliza." Her mom sighs. "You said you were going by last night to end things once and for all."

"And that was a mistake."

"Why?" Mrs. Minnick asks. "Because she looked at you lovingly and told you she wouldn't leave again?"

"Actually, yes." Eliza squeezes my hand, but I don't feel like I should be here at all. I want to stick it out and stand up for myself, but Mrs. Minnick is like another mother to me. I wouldn't dare disrespect her or her opinion. If she believes I'm wrong for her daughter, I don't know how I'm supposed to change her mind.

"Mrs. Minnick." I mouth runs dry. "I know I haven't done anything lately that would cause you to trust me, but you have to believe that I love Eliza. More than anything in this world."

"Mm." Scoffing, she shakes her head and grabs her purse from the counter.

"I know we've messed up, or rather _I've_ messed up, more than once, but I'm here and I'm never leaving again. Eliza knows that, and she trusts me when I say that. I would appreciate it if you could do the same."

"Honestly…" She approaches me. "I'm not sure I could ever truly trust you again, Arizona." Disappointment in her voice cutting through me like a knife, I drop my gaze and simply nod. "If Eliza wants to make this mistake, I won't stop her. I won't be the one to hurt her. _You_ do that enough alone."

"Mom!"

"Goodbye, Eliza." Mrs. Minnick approaches the door. "I'll call you in a few days." Shuddering as the door slams shut, my lip trembles as I try to control my emotions. I know she isn't fond of me right now, but I didn't expect that attitude or that look from her. I completely understand that times have changed between us all, but still…I expected something more from her. Anything but that.

"I'm so sorry." Eliza pulls me closer. "Arizona, look at me."

"She's right." I smile weakly. "Everything she has just said was totally right."

"No."

"You're out of your mind giving me another chance." I laugh. "Completely out of your freaking mind."

"Don't do this," Eliza begs. "Don't let her push you away."

"Oh, I'm not," I say with certainty. "I'm never losing you again. I just hoped things could've turned out differently."

"Do you love me?"

"More than life…" I fist my hand in her tee, pulling her flush against me. "I love you so much, Eliza."

"Then that is the only thing that matters." She smiles fully for the first time in a long time. "Mom will come around. I know she will."

The sound of the track changing that is playing low in the background, my arms wrap around her waist. "Dance with me?"

"I'd love nothing more…"

 ** _There's so much craziness surrounding me_** ** _  
_** ** _There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe_** ** _  
_** ** _All my faith has gone you bring it back to me_** ** _  
_** ** _You make it real for me_** ** _  
_** ** _Well I'm not sure of my priorities_** ** _  
_** ** _I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be_** ** _  
_** ** _And like holy water washing over me_**

Pressing my forehead against Eliza's, a smile curls on my mouth, our arms holding one another securely. She's right, her mom will come around. If she doesn't, there is nothing I can do about it. Once she sees that I'm here for her daughter, she will see that I'm the one for Eliza. She will see just how much this gorgeous woman means to me.

 ** _You make it real for me  
And I'm running to you baby  
You are the only one who saves me  
That's why I've been missing you lately  
'Cause you make it real for me_**

 ** _When my head is strong, but my heart is weak  
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty  
But I can find the words  
You teach my heart to speak_**

"Thank you," Eliza whispers, her lips brushing mine. "For coming back. For staying tonight."

"I love you. There is no way I'm about to run away."

"I'm so proud of you, Arizona." Eliza's lips ghost over my own. "You've done exactly what you wanted to do. You are successful…you made it."

"None of it matters anymore," I whisper, my eyes closing. "You. You are where I should be. Where I need to be. Forever."

 ** _You make it real for me  
And I'm running to you baby  
You are the only one who saves me  
That's why I've been missing you lately  
'Cause you make it real for me_**

 ** _Everybody's talking in words  
I don't understand  
You got to be the only one  
Who knows just who I am  
And you shine in the distance  
I hope I can make it through  
'Cause the only place  
That I want to be  
Is right back home with you_**

"You know…" Smiling, I focus on her gorgeous green eyes. "Being here with you like this…it's like we never parted."

"I know." Eliza's arms wrap around my neck, our bodies slowly swaying. "I've missed you so much."

"Some days I wanted to end it all," I admit. "The soccer, it didn't matter. It will never matter like it once did. This, with you, is where I want to be. When I tell you I'm not leaving, I promise you. With my entire being, I promise you, Eliza."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

 ** _I guess there's so much more  
I have to run  
But if you're here with me  
I know which way to turn  
You always give me somewhere,  
Somewhere I can run_**

 ** _You make it real for me  
And I'm running to you baby  
You are the only one who saves me  
That's why I've been missing you lately  
'Cause you make it real for me_**

 ** _You make it real for me_**

"I can travel," I say.

"Travel where?" Eliza studies my face.

"From here to Orlando daily." I shrug. "If this is where you want to be."

"I-I hadn't thought about it."

"No rush." I smile, pressing my lips to her own. "Just…if that's what you want, we can make this _our_ home."

"You want us to have a home together again?" Eliza's eyes brighten but her unshed tears don't go unnoticed by me. "Y-You mean that?"

"We were always supposed to have a home together, beautiful." My thumb trails her cheek. "That will never change."

"You." She sighs, smiling. "Just…god, I don't even know."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Song was 'You Make It Real' by James Morrison.**


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